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Booze Review: Red Bull Missile Launcher

Some genius mind on campus created a new drink available this semester at bars called– in classically aggressive Red Bull fashion– the Red Bull Missile Launcher. They presumably thought: “Hey, you could just drink a regular Red Bull/vodka, but why not get right to the source and SHOTGUN it out of a can?!” The Black Sheep put ourselves in the trenches and test-drove these babies for you; here’s what we thought.


Grade: B


Smells Like: Straight up sugar– but depends on the flavor of Red Bull you choose. We’d particularly recommend their newest tropical flavor as it is the most likely to make you grab the bull by the horns.


Tastes Like: A hangover. A bad one. But one that you at least feel like you earned. Its vodka and fuckin’ Red Bull that you SHOTGUN like a beer. So if you do it right, hopefully you won’t actually taste very much.


User Comments:


  • “This seems like this might kill me.”
  • “That wasn’t nearly as difficult as expected.”
  • “Buuuuuuuuuuuurp.”


You’ll Like This if You Like: Vodka/ Red Bull (obviously), adrenaline, Jager Bombs, dopamine, shotgunning beers, getting ridiculously drunk as fast as possible.


Common Food Pairing Suggestions: A greasy slice of pizza at the end of the night, or some fried rice from that lady who posts up across the street from Toppers.


Is It Flammable?: You tell us, we don’t have a death wish. But, it does fire us up. ::rimshot::


Would a 12-Year-Old Like it?: Only if he was from Alabama.


Does it Give You Wings?: Well, it’ll propel you to space.


What Mark Richt Would Say if He Saw You Drinking This: “Good job out there Dawgs. You played real hard, you gave it your all, and I’m real proud of ya.”


All in all, we weren’t disappointed by the Missile Launcher. Pleasantly surprised, in fact. When you’re faced with the task of consuming 12 ounces of a highly-caffeinated, carbonated beverage and a sizeable amount of vodka you have to set your expectations low. But once you get your head in the game and commit, it’s definitely worth it. Plus you feel like you could run 6 miles while simultaneously popping bottles of champagne afterwards. If you can’t decide if you’re going to make it out this Friday night, give the Missile Launcher a try.


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