With the Georgia vs. South Carolina game ahead, UGA’s fraternity community has started a petition to forfeit said game because, “miss me with that gay shit.”
The ol’ Gamecocks are otherwise referred to as the ‘Cocks’ by 9-year-old boys and collegiate gentlemen alike. However, these intellectual men mean the nickname as a good-natured joke and nothing more.
University studies reaffirm the average frat boy’s primal fear of homosexuality, with the inception of phrases like “no homo.” This phenomenon offers an explanation as to why these boys do not want their beloved football team associated with Cocks of any sort.
Ryan Gitter, Sigma Upsilon Kappa (SUK) philanthropy chair, chatted with The Black Sheep while Birding on his way to class.
“I’m just so happy every fraternity can finally come together for a good cause,” Gitter said. “Before this all went down, the only thing we had in common was that Sandbar is the single greatest Athens bar of all time. No homo.”
When questioned about his passion for watching tightly-clad men run around and tackle each other, Gitter evaded answering while blushing…hard.
We received more insight from Mu Upsilon (MY) pledge master, James Goodall, in an exclusive interview this week.
“Look, I’m not homophobic or whatever, but why would they call themselves the Cocks?” Goodall asked. “Not even the ‘Cocks… no homo’? I put ‘no homo’ in my email signature so that professors, employers, and, well, everyone know exactly where my priorities are. I think these ‘Gamecocks’ should do the same.”
Searching for a third opinion, The Black Sheep attempted to interview a member from Delta Iota Kappa (DIK), but we received a cordial, “No homo,” which we interpreted as “No comment.”
UPDATE: Members of SUK, MY, and DIK would like urge others to sign the petition, but “No homo.”
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