Since everyone in Athens believes they’re a foodie, we decided to put it to the test by enlisting an actual professional chef to weigh in on the matter. For some odd reason, we don’t trust the opinion of some sophomore English major who likes to take artistic pictures at brunch. And no one seemed more suited for the task than the legendary badass of the culinary world, Gordon Ramsay, who is ready to review your fave pasta chefs in Bolton. The man has gained a reputation for roasting pseudo-chefs on twitter and based off his critiques we can’t help but think of the good he can do for the UGA dining commons.
“For starters, what theme were they going for in the décor?! It looks they wanted to give off the illusion that you were in some shitty ski lodge but then ran out of inspiration halfway through. I can see why no one is at the Asian station. No one willingly signs up for diarrhea at 2 a.m. As far as the breakfast foods go, I think the only way this would taste good is if you were surviving a hangover, which seems to be a common occurrence here. The best thing looks to be the cereal because no can screw up some Lucky Charms. I take that back some people can.”
“I’m already done with this place because the number of stairs you have to climb is not worth some greasy Philly cheese steak that’s had to be remade 3 times. I don’t know why they call these drinks smoothies, if I wanted some watered down, healthy version of a slushy, I would grind a strawberry into some snow and lick it off the ground. If you’re going to eat here it’s best you just make yourself a salad because at least you can say you created the shit that gave you food poisoning.”
“It’s no wonder why these kids are suffering from the freshman fifteen. You literally have an entire building dedicated to giving your students pizza that looks like it came out of the dumpster of a frat party. Any place that needs to be open 24 hours needs to chill. But then you close on at 2 p.m. on Friday?! Riiiiight. I think they need to rethink this whole concept because whoever did smoked one too many bowls in the design process.”
1.) The Niche:
“I don’t need to enter this place to know that it pisses me off. Like you think you’re hot shit because you have a cool name that no one can say properly. There ain’t no way I am taking a 30-minute bus ride just so I can wait in a 20-minute line to get a disappointing calzone. No, just no. It may be the best dining hall but that’s like being the most drunk guy at a bar downtown, not that special.”
We can’t thank Mr. Gordon Ramsay enough for taking time off of roasting amateur chefs on Twitter to come to UGA and share his expertise. We’re super sure everyone at Food Services will feel the same!