How to Pass Your UGA Online Class Without Really Trying

author-pic at University of Georgia  

What’s the last thing you wanna do this summer? That’s right, put on pants and get your sunburned arse outta the pool. Sure, you decided to take that Spanish 2102 class online, but that doesn’t mean you have to try. That’s why The Black Sheep has gathered the best ways to barely pass your super easy online classes with the minimum amount of effort.

5.) Rent a Nerd:
Drive to Atlanta. Go to Georgia Tech. Find the nerdiest nerd from the abundance of nerds they have, the easiest part of this horrid process. Tell them you are just lowly UGA scum who cannot work a computer, let alone school on a computer. They will undoubtedly take on the burden of this online class. If not, throw in a weekend in Athens, free of charge, where you can attempt to educate them on the outlandish concept of fun.

4.) Enroll Twice, But One Time Under an Alias:
You’re just getting a head start on the test questions from your good friend, Pat Myaz. Don’t think of it as cheating, think of it as taking full advantage of the endless possibilities the internet has to offer. Remember, you’re the one going places.

3.) Speaking of Cheating…:
For all you know, the “teacher” could be a freakin’ robot. You’ve never met this guy, who even knows if he’s human. By cheating, you’re combatting them one true-false question at a time. Use anything: Quizlet, buy a Chegg account, blackmail your inferior, weaker, younger siblings into taking the course for you, really try everything once. And when you’re done you should probably throw away your computer. They’re watching.

2.) Excuses, Excuses:
Here, your creativity is put on the line. How bad can your professor feel for you? Dead pet? Tragic, but C-worthy at best. We suggest you put your life and dignity on the line with the excuse to end all excuses. We suggest three months to live, you’re prone to spontaneous combustions, your Guitar Hero career is going in new and exciting places and school just can’t interfere…you get the point. Who would want to spend that precious time worrying about bettering yourself anyway?? No, no you are going out with a bang.

1.) Just Don’t:
Maybe it’s just not in the cards for you to pass this class, at this moment. Oh no, you’ll have to spend another semester (or two) making up for it. Say hello to more nights on the floor of Sandbar, getting kicked out of the Georgia Theatre for sneaking in a handle of Jack, and anything but studying. What a travesty.

Online classes may not be tricky, but why should you really have to try? It’s Summer after all. We’re here to tell you it’s okay to just not, but say you did.