It’s an unspoken rule that every vending machine must include a few shitty food items, bordering on inedible. The Black Sheep decided to do the unthinkable: purchase said shitty items at the UGA Park Hall vending machine, and actually ingest them at great loss to personal health and happiness in the name of science. Here’s what we found out:
5.) Mrs. Freshley’s Jumbo Honey Bun:
This was like a ball of playdough covered in sweet mayonnaise. If Donald Trump had sex with the Pillsbury Doughboy, their son would probably taste something like this. Mrs Freshley 1, Humanity 0.
4.) Southern Recipe Bar-B-Q Pork Rinds:
Are you in the mood for some processed pig skin? Neither were we, but by God, we ate it anyway. You’re welcome. The flavor was sort of hard to pinpoint, but the closest we came to was ass flavored cotton candy.
3.) Grandma’s Mini Sandwich Cremes:
Straight from Grandma’s kitchen, if your Grandma was an assembly line in a processed food plant. These were like corn syrup balls of sand stuck together with leftover Danimals yogurt. The first two or three were aight, but finishing the whole bag is guaranteed to make you puke.
1.) Mrs. Freshley’s Mini Powdered Doughnuts:
Mrs. Freshley strikes again! Slightly better than the honey bun, but, just a heads up, you’re not going to be able to swallow for a couple of hours. They were powdery AF.
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