A Bachelor’s Degree from UGA is not something to take lightly, so it’s a good thing we never take things lightly here at The Black Sheep. But, we have discovered in our graduation research that some names of the majors offered at UGA fall short of a BA standard. (Read: badass and Bachelor of Arts, this acronym’s a two-fer.) So, we’ve decided to rename them. Without further ado, here are some UGA Majors renamed to describe what they actually are.
Biology – Pre-Dead:
Normally after a UGA student claims his major is biology, he quickly thereafter also claims “pre-med” for himself. But you heard it here first, folks, he’s been saying “pre-dead” this whole time because he sees O-Chem in his future.
Marketing – One-Way Ticket to Where Everyone Else is Going:
There’s no denying that a degree from UGA’s Terry College of Business looks great, but within the next few years, there will be so many hard copies of UGA marketing degrees in circulation due to last-ditch briberies for employment during interviews that CEOs will start to use them as currency in their conspiratorial and underground black market.
Advertising – The Math-Idiot’s Marketing:
An advertising degree at UGA, let’s be real here, is just marketing without the pre-Terry requisites. Bad at accounting? Great! Advertising’s for you! Want to be exempt from the black-market scenario as aforementioned? Great! Advertising’s for you!
Communications – You Didn’t Want to Apply to Grady, So You Didn’t:
Some people might look at this like a cop-out, but have you ever tried to write a Grady Statement of Interest? Most intimidating thing ever. Why would you not join the Franklin train and not have to ever worry about applying for a UGA college?
Social Work – Most Likely to Need The Services You’re Studying:
The Social Work major at UGA is for the people who want to help people but don’t know how. It’s a good thing that UGA has a great Master’s of Social Work program, or else everyone who graduates with the Bachelor’s Degree would be needing their own services one day.
Agricultural Business – The Athens Local Major:
If you’ve ever taken a car ride around the backcountry of Athens, you know what chicken farms smell like. The Ag Business major, which flourishes amongst the local Athens community who grew up in those chicken coops, is the key to staying in Athens and monopolizing on the hens’ time of the month. Is that gross? Probably. It is true? Yes.
International Affairs – Wanderluster’s Paradise:
We’re pretty sure that the International Affairs major is just a fast track to travel the world, so whoever is in this major is just in it for the post-grad job in Paris. But what SPIA doesn’t tell you is that you’ll probably end up in a cubicle in Suburbia when you graduate.
We hope this list of what UGA majors should really be called helps you decide your long-term life path, or just lets you in on how to more accurately stereotype the Dawgs around you. We can’t wait to see you walk across the Sanford Stadium stage on Graduation Day a little more educated about your education. That’s all for now.
WATCH: For some, spring break is about partying on the beach. For others, it’s about wallowing in despair: