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UGA Mysteries Explained: The Albert Einstein Painting in Tate

Directly next to an abstract painting of Uga the English bulldog hangs a similarly abstract painting of Science’s Albert Einstein. No one knows why he’s there, because no one thought to ask. But we’ve asked administration, and they told us. Hold onto your hats, folks. This mystery explained is a doozy.

You might know Einstein as a German-born physicist, but we know him as the best damn good Dawg there ever was. In a recent resurgence of research on his biography, it turns out that in all of the correspondence Einstein had with his family back in Germany, where historians previously thought he said he was researching at “Princeton,” he actually wrote that he was researching at “the Princeton of the South,” aka UGA. Silly historians, you’ve got to read between the lines!

While researching at UGA, many of Einstein’s famous sayings came into being. Have you ever heard a UGA professor say, “This isn’t rocket science,” or “Please, don’t touch my signed poster of Chubb and Michel”? They are quoting the late and great Albert Einstein. Einstein was constantly having to remind his colleagues that what they were doing was in fact quantum mechanics and that a signed poster of the greatest duo in UGA football was not something to be poked or prodded. And this quote is further proof that all the greatest Dawgs in history know each other.

When UGA administration heard this breaking news about Einstein, immediately a painting for the new Tate Student Center was commissioned. Unfortunately, a different sector of UGA Administration received breaking news about Uga IX and almost simultaneously commissioned a painting of the bulldog from a painter everyone was talking about at a Board Meeting. So, the two paintings were hung side-by-side, symbolizing the reception of really good news for UGA and equally really bad news for UGA.

And that’s how UGA has come to compare mascots with the Theory of Relativity, indefinitely. It’s hard to say when students will stop shouting E = mc^2 whenever Uga X walks on the field.

You heard it here first.

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