The UGA Pre-Spring Break To-Do List

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There are only a few days left until UGA’s Spring Break, but that doesn’t mean that your life is in orderly enough to be ready to actually leave. You need to handle some shit before you can pretend that you don’t have obligations and can drink so much that you get that sexy beer gut you’ve always wanted. After all, everyone wants to feel bloated while wearing a two piece in front of their Spring Break bae. Don’t worry about making a to-do list; we did that for you:

8.) Make up a Legit Absence Excuse for Friday and Monday:
If you plan on making it to your classes on Friday before break and the Monday after, then are you even going on Spring Break?! There’s no reason you need to be in class those days because it’s not like actual work is being done. However, vacation is not a valid excuse to miss class, which means that you need to kill off a relative and attend a fake funeral in order to not get docked in O-Chem.

7.) Hit Up the UGA Medical Center:
Before you destroy your body and embrace more alcohol than you can physically handle, it’s best to have your paperwork in order. You should probably know your blood type just as a precaution. It’s best to be tested, too, so you can compare the before and after disease list. Basically, this will just save your emergency room nurse some trouble later on. 

6.) Place a Condom Express Order:
No one needs to waste money on those expensive beachside CVS condoms. Why not make use of UGA’s services and place a simple Condom Express order? They’re even boujee enough to offer you some flavors. Or maybe you say screw it and have a Spring Break bae and Spring Break baby, too!

5.) Preemprively Forget About Your Midterm the Week After SB:
Let’s be honest here, ain’t no way your ass is studying over break. It’s really best if you just lay down a towel, sip your 4th margarita of the day, and zone out. Will the test be there when you get back, sure, but that’s a problem for future you.

4.) Skip the Cookies in Bolton:
This should be self-explanatory. You’ve already turned the freshman 15 in to the freshman 25, and you’re a senior. You don’t have a lot of excuses for why your beach body isn’t obtainable anymore. Skip that peanut butter cookie in Bolton, you’re already as far from a six-pack as you ever thought you’d be.

3.) Limit DT Trips This Week:
We’re guessing that your bank account is already overdrawn considering you’re doing something this Spring Break, and if you’re the average UGA student DT has sucked your bank account dry. So you may want to limit yourself to one DT night this week, or Wells Fargo will make your break hell.

2.) Organize All Your UGA Parking Tickets:
It’s safe to assume that if you’re a normal UGA student, then you have some ungodly number of unpaid parking tickets stashed away somewhere. With that amount of debt built up, you may want to just put all of those read papers in a neat stack. That way when you get back you can burn them all together and you won’t have to hunt them down one by one.  

1.) Hit The Tanning Bed:
One does not simply show up to Spring Break pale.  If you want to be cool, you better start working on your orangey glow ahead of time. Think of all the ruined ‘gram opportunities if you don’t!

We hope this to-do list will be helpful with your planning this break. Remember to have a fun and safe time and try to not do anything you don’t want to be screenshot!

 

WATCH: We made Malort cupcakes. They are bad.

 
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