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UGA Sorority Spring Events Described Like Fraternity Spring Parties

The Spring Events at UGA satisfy a wide variety of interests. Especially, those of the sorority and fraternity types. So, we’ve decided to give you a taste for both sides of the sorority/fraternity dichotomy by describing the types of sorority spring events as if they were fraternity spring events. You’re welcome.

5.) The 5k “Fun” Run:
Let me tell you, we have perfectly modified these types of events for our rush. And the nature trail centers around Athens host these sorts of things all the time. Normally, in addition to the running, there’s colored powder involved. So, you get the kids up super early, make ‘em run a bunch, and normally have them run through stuff that makes them choke. It’s the perfect concoction of terror disguised as philanthropy that a rushee can use to prove herself as an ideal pledge.

4.) The Traditional Dinner-on-the-Lawn Event:
Yo, we’ve got another rush set up right here! We got ALL the restaurants in Athens to cater for a “philanthropy” event that’s really just acting as a cover for us to get wasted with some seniors in high school. There’s nothing quite like sitting on the front lawn, small-talking some kids while the smell of Insomnia Cookies is invading your nostrils.

3.) Parent’s Weekend:
Parent’s Weekend is the LITTEST weekend of the year. I swear, we’ve got a band, a trash bag fence that goes around the entire Classic Center, and an open bar. I mean, it’s one thing to get lit with your parents, but it’s a whole other ball game to get lit with your parents while swing dancing to the Michael Jackson cover band in the ballroom of the Classic Center that we decorated to look like a jungle.

2.) G-Day Father-Daughter Day:
Let’s be real, it’s not springtime unless you watch some Georgia scrimmage ball while sipping a brew with your old man. This event isn’t even on the official calendar, it just somehow made its way into the chapter traditions. Because there are no tickets to the game, tell all your dads that the more, the merrier. And by merrier, we mean the closer we will be to breaking the record for G-Day attendants. We’re all about breaking records.

1.) Formal:
This event is the one that doesn’t really make a whole lot of sense to us. We dress to the nines to go stand in a place in Athens that no one would ever wear a full-length gown without being told to. And if the guys have to rent the clothes that they wear, is it really even worth it? Anyway, we keep having formals because it makes us look like a functioning organization to the other people in society, and we think that’s a pretty good cause.

If you were ever confused about what each sorority spring event entailed, we hope the simplicity of a fraternal brain helped you figure it out.

 

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