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Grand Valley State

10 Times Freshman Move-in Sucked A$$

Before college, you probably thought a lot about what it would be like. You heard stories from your parents and teachers about how college would be the best years of your life, but what they failed to mention is the hell you go through to make that transition. Here are ten times moving-in to GVSU as a freshman sucked major ass:

10.) When you weren’t as cool as you thought you were going to be:       
You used to be top dog in high school, but you quickly transformed to a small fish in a big pond full of things like T. Haas and Louie the Laker. Oh, also, the older “kids” laughed at you. Actually, everyone laughed at you, and they probably still are.

9.) When Transitions was really just your RA’s way of forcing you to “have fun”:

When you saw the word “mandatory” written under each event, you probably shrugged it off and thought, “Yeah right, I’m in college now!” But that was before your RA came knocking on your door at Kistler in the early hours of the morning forcing you to go. You only realized after the fact that there were no consequences of not going.

8.) When it occurred to you that maybe you needed a car after all:
When you toured Grand Valley for the first time, you were told how the Rapid was free for students, and how you wouldn’t need a car to survive in small town Allendale. However, once your parents left, you realized you forgot your Snack Packs at home. It was then, waiting outside Mackinac for a 50 that never came, that you realized how important a car may be after all.

7.) When getting to know your roommate wasn’t all it was cracked up to be:

They joined Delta Upsilon, but you’re more of the, “I don’t have a door with a lock so people to come visit me,” type. Unable to become friends after your roommate moved your ladder two feet to the left, you decided maybe living on campus was actually the worst idea you (or your pushy father) had.

6.) When you discovered Freshmanland isn’t as cool as its name made it sound:
Its name may sound like a fictitious land in a book you might’ve read as a child, full of fun, mystery, and wonder. But, rest assured, it’s really a sauna of dirty bathrooms and screaming college kids. After a day or two, you began to see Freshmanland for what it truly is: a weird secluded part of campus filled with terrible food choices and straight up trash.

5.) When making friends wasn’t as easy as they make it look in movies:

Making friends should be so easy, but odds are, you have a random roommate who’s nothing like you, and you definitely made a fool of yourself more than once during the games you were forced to play in Transitions. Everyone in class has more money than you, likes sports or “sisterhood,” and judge you for your backpack choices. You’re better off being besties with woodchucks by Calder.

4.) When your dorm room was much shittier than the pictures on GV’s website made it seem:    
With catalog images of cheerful-looking students (paid actors) enjoying their spacious dorm rooms with their new roommates, Grand Valley looked too good to be true. That’s because it was. When you got there, you realized it was a lie. Your cinder block cell of a dorm room was a hot box of hell.

3.) When you didn’t plan as accordingly as you thought:

Meeting your roommate became even more awkward when you both realized you had 10 plates and nobody thought to bring any bowls. You thought it would be fine to brave the restrooms barefoot so you didn’t bring any flip-flops, but after that scary squish between your toes, you realized your mistake.

2.) When you thought your first meal at GV might also be your last:
Having a meal plan sounded just dandy until you stepped inside Fresh and immediately thought, “What the Fresh was I thinking?” With their unnatural ability to make every meal frightfully underwhelming, you’re missing your mom’s homemade cooking more than ever.

1.) When you came to the conclusion that you don’t actually know how to live on your own:

 After only a few days of being at Grand Valley, you quickly began to realize you weren’t cut out for this life. With no immediate friendships, an imagined aptitude for cooking and cleaning, and the closest thing to food being Kleiner, you wanted to head back to your hometown before school even started.

Whether you’re a freshman this year, or you’ve been at GV for seven years, it’s fair to say that Freshman move-in was not as easy or nearly as enjoyable as you had made it out to be in your mind. Don’t worry though, it’ll only get worse.

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