Beloved ex-child actor and political rights activist Shia Labeouf recently had a theatrical release of his new movie Man Down in the United Kingdom.
After the first week of showings the film sold a total of three tickets making a total profit of $26.00. One can only wonder what Shia will spend his new windfall of cash on. Here’s a nifty list of possibilities.
So Shia can stop getting sick from drinking out of the toilet.
So Shia can keep those damn fans off his lawn.
Something to keep the flies off of the corpse of Shia’s acting career.
Because even Shia likes to feel sexy too.
Disgusting yet intriguing. Just like Labeouf himself.
He’s not the best at acting, so maybe it’s time to pick up a new hobby.
For those long, lonely nights.
So Shia can show off what he loves most.
Something for Shia to watch and think of that one time he got to touch Megan Fox’s boobies.
So Shia can look in the mirror and pretend to be an actor that’s actually good.
Even Shia would like to control a toilet with his iPad.
Are ghosts real? Only Shia will know.
Everyone knows Shia is man with a taste for the finer things in life.
It’s nice for one psycho to watch over another psycho while he sleeps.
#20 will come in handy.
So Shia can get jacked and start beating up those internet trolls.
Shia is known to be an avid Cosmo quiz lover.
Just one to add to his collection.
It’s the closest thing Shia will get to having another Shia of his own. That is until the cloning process is perfected.
Comes in handy when trying to disguise yourself from those pesky fans.
Shia has always expressed his dream of escaping today’s life to become a merman.
So Shia doesn’t run out when he feels like pulling his “I’m not famous anymore” gag again.
Since he’ll never get to play Indiana Jones, he can just “play” Indiana Jones.
It’s the closest thing Shia will get to having Donald Trump eat his ass.
It’s a good read. Will also come in handy with Shia’s new iPotty.
For the next time Shia decides to chase homeless people around New York City.