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5 Most Romantic Places to Bone at GVSU

Are you and your lover tired of dinner and a movie? Are you too poor or too cheap to take your girlfriend somewhere off campus for a date? Listen here Lakers! The Black Sheep has compiled a definitive list of the most awesome romantic hot spots for couples on campus. Take notes because these spots will blow you away!

5.) Zumburge Love Pond:

Probably the most romantic place on campus…if it’s above 50 degrees. You and your date can have a nice romantic picnic here during the fall semester…Couples can discuss their crippling debt and summer class here…The whistling birds and the loud construction cranes will help you forget about your anxiety. When she dumps you in the winter semester, you can skate on the unsafe ice with the intention of going under. Perhaps the best spot on campus.

4.) Under Little Mac:

Is your significant other a troll? Do you think normal relationships are cliché and too mainstream for you? Dates under Little Mac are perfect for you. You and your lover can kick rocks and play freeze tag in the valley.

Pro Tip: Do a cute foot race with your S.O. to the bottom of the valley from the sidewalk. The first one to roll to the bottom wins the free tuition challenge.

3.) Kirkhof Bathroom:

Nothing says romantic like poop and the smell of orange chicken from Panda Express. If you like dirty boys, this spot’s perfect for you! Couples can infringe on other people’s privacy by taking cute mirror selfies and doin’ it in one of the stalls. Don’t forget to wash your hands!

2.) Behind Niemeyer’s Trash Compactor:

This location’s for the stoner crowd that likes to smoke in the valley behind Niemeyer so they don’t get caught by GVPD. But this can also be a romantic hot spot!  Lure them out with the promise of a great bang session under the stars. The poison ivy and thorn bushes perfectly define your lover. It’s really hard to see at night here so if you wish to ditch them, this is the place to do it. The loud trash compactor will cover up and suspicious noises coming from the woods!

1.) Library Study Room:

Are you tired of the same old spots? Would you rather study human anatomy instead of ethics? Study rooms are the perfect place for dirty academics. The windows are tinted enough so library patrons can’t see everything. Hopefully, you schedule the room for enough time because the next group to come in may be startled by love-making.

True lovers can be romantic anywhere! The “who” is more important than the “where.” Grand Valley’s full of spots for new age hipster lovers who love the smell of turkey shit from nearby farms.


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