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Grand Valley State

5 Smells Every Laker Knows and Loves

There are some smells, some smelly smells, that make GVSU smell the way it does.  Opposite the gut reaction you have when a whiff of AXE body spray assaults your nostrils (we’re looking at you freshmen boys who refuse to shower) there are some smells at Grand Valley worth sniffing out.  How many of these scents have graced your nose while walking around the Dirty Dale?

5.) Exhaust from the Rapid:

Whether you’re running to catch it (who isn’t) or just stepped off, the aromatic fumes of the Rapid’s exhaust pipe will leave you gasping.  Being surrounded by the Rapid’s personal fart cloud will surely brighten your day, or at least leave your eyes watering as you head off to MAK.

4.) Free t-shirts at GVSU football games:

What’s better than a Saturday night under the lights at Lubber’s Stadium? Matching the 1,000 other lucky Lakers who got a free t-shirt!  That fresh-off-the-press factory smell will last through the whole game, but you won’t. Oh wait, you didn’t wait in line an hour early to get one? Smells like regret to us! Don’t worry though, you’ll get another chance as GV gives out those lovely, mass produced, made-in-China T-shirts every home game so students might actually attend.

3.) Paper fresh off the printer:

Stress of GV’s new print limit got you down? Enjoy the aromatherapy of your tuition dollars coming hot off the printer in Manitou! The 10-page essay you just printed for WRT 150 on your favorite childhood memory reeks of bullshit and wasted money, but at least you’ll get a passing grade as WRT workshops are pointless.

2.) Turkey farms:

We’re not talking about Thanksgiving turkey, we’re talking about the sickening stench of Sietsema Farms that’s less than 2 miles down the road from Grand Valley. Students are bombarded with the vomit-inducing stench of turkey as soon as they take one whiff outside. The fowl stench can only be banished by living in a Febreze can for at least 24 hours.   

1.) T. Haas:

If you’ve been blessed by the presence of T. Haas in your Laker Lifetime, you’ll know why every Laker has an undying love for this incredible man.  He looks like a dad, smells like a dad, and acts like a dad.  The smell of T. Haas cannot be described with words, just one of the mystical attributes about him.

Congrats on having a nose so smell-able that all of these wonderful sniffs can waft into your nostrils on the daily! Some are better than others, but they all make GV the special smelly campus it is.  

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