7 Ways to Piss Off Any Grand Valley Student

author-pic at Grand Valley State University  

Being part of the Midwest, Grand Valley isn’t exactly known for having an angry or mean student body. However, there are a few things that’ll seriously enrage any Grand Valley Student.

7.) Say something insulting about T. Haas:

There’s nothing Lakers love more than their president. It’s a little bit weird how much GV students love this guy, but if they hear anything less than, “I love T. Haas,” come out of your mouth, there will definitely be some throat-punches.

6.) Say anything positive about Saginaw Valley:

SVSU and GVSU don’t exactly see eye to eye because, ya know, one’s trash. Being rival schools, it’s fair game for anyone from Grand Valley to hate you if you say nice things about SVSU.

5.) Don’t hold doors for them:

Everyone at Grand Valley is ridiculously friendly, and they’ll hold a door open for you even if you’re a mile away, forcing you to do a weird half-jog so they don’t have to wait. Fail to hold the door, and you’ll face some seriously upset GV students.

4.) Tell a Laker you think the Rapid bus system’s great:

GVSU students have sat at the bus stop for hours in the dead of winter too many times to hear you say that the Rapid is doing best; it could always be better. Compliment the bus route and get an ear-full of complaints for hours.

3.) Insist that Grand Valley doesn’t actually need more parking:

100% of GV students agree that there needs to be more parking, so don’t get surprised if you disagreeing with them leads to a heated argument and most likely a shovel to the face.

2.) Agree with the administration that we don’t need any snow days:

There’s no point going to a school that has some of the shittiest weather in the country if you don’t even get any snow days. At least they gave us one this year, but does it really count if it was actually an ice day? It’s a sore subject with GV students.

1.) Build another freaking building they won’t use with their tuition money:

We’re all just soooo happy that GV’s been using our tuition dollars on specific buildings only a small percentage of us will actually use, like Kindschi or the preforming arts center. Lakers just love having tuition prices increase to fund projects meaningless to them.

If your goal is to piss off a Laker, follow these tips and you’ll be sure to have all of GVSU outside your window with pitchforks in no time.