Who doesn’t love singing aged songs with your peers while sitting on a metal bench that makes your butt fall asleep after the first touchdown? Not to mention the cold, harsh Allendale winds ripping your face off. “Shockingly,” not many people know the words to the GVSU Fight Song, so why not change them up and make them a little more memorable?
First of all, if you Google the lyrics to the GVSU Fight Song (we had to), you’ll see that it’s author-less. Clearly, no one wanted to take credit for this particular GV trash:
“We want a Grand Valley victory, as the Lakers we have pride.
Our team will lead us on, Blue and White we’re at your side!
We want a Grand Valley victory, as our foes will quickly see.
Raise! Your! Voices and cheer for a
FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT!”
So now that we finally know the words and have already forgotten them, let’s rewrite them to be more accurate:
“Oh, GVSU, we pledge our hearts to you ‘cuz now we have to.
As faithful, as deep, as true, black, white, and blue,
But tuition’s too high, and parking spots are too scarce,
GVSU, you’re a moderately ok university to attend for the privileged rich don’t get us wrong,
But seriously, do we have to mention how unfair the printing limit is in a song?
FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT!“
We love GV (take a look at the bumper stickers), but there are some major issues. Why should we have to resort to sneaking into the Honors College or Henry Hall to print off the class readings because we aren’t allowed laptops? Or pay $500 a semester for a ~chance~ to ~maybe~ find a parking spot? So instead of a song to cheer on our sports teams, why not speak the truth to let The Man know that this shit isn’t actually the coolest of beans?
And if you think this updated song sounds anything like the Bikini Bottom National Anthem, you’re not wrong.