We all remember the first time we walked into the bathroom the at college and went: “Omg this shit is so much nicer than high school shitters, time for a shitzkrieg!”
It was clean. The toilet seat had been wiped down this century, and all the graffiti dicks on the wall had been removed in a great symbol of washing away the patriarchy. On the other hand, GVSU has some often overlooked and forgotten bathrooms that remind you of what it’s like to be an 1800s house servant from when your bedroom, kitchen, and bathroom where all the same room. So here are the rankings of only the best, worst, and nothing in between!
Best: Pew campus Loosemore Auditorium:
This one’s truly gorgeous! It’s manicured; it’s like a well-heated tush heaven. It’s a vibrant area that invokes the most insightful of restroom realizations. Comforting, no matter what state of mind you go in for, its tile color combination invokes calms even when you realize how terrible everything life actually is. Truly a restful spot that rejuvenates the soul.
10/10 would poop again!
Worst: Mackinac D-wing:
This one’s terrible, this one’s awful. Seriously, just don’t go here even in an emergency. The last person in this room was likely a witch who cursed it, turning it into a swamp of forgotten memories. This place hasn’t been cleaned or re-stocked in over three years, and every toilet’s always clogged. This place is only great for locking your enemies inside. Truly pitiful.
Best: Kirkhof top floor room 2177:
While most of the wall/stall markings have been eliminated, this bathroom’s still aesthetically pleasing. This is an art piece of the highest order and must immediately be recognized by the art school’s foundation! Not many people head up the stairs to pee so you’ll most likely be alone, which everyone knows is the the key ingredient to a quick, efficient, calm poo.
Worst?: Kirkhof bathroom near Panda Express:
This one’s just trying to hard to be what it’s not. We get it! You redid this part of the building and now it’s chic dark and full of greys but clash greatly with the light brown paper towel. This place is good only for the most depressing bowel movements. The acoustics in it are terrible and you’ll be able to hear everyone else in the room’s every move. Too hipster to be any good!
Next time you find yourself in a bathroom pinch, remember these restrooms to avoid or try to run to if, you know, you can make it!