GVSU Student Sues University for Exhibition of “Octopus Pornography”
Wrought with disgust and anger, a Grand Valley State undergraduate, Bethany Klamer, 21, filed a federal lawsuit against the university for the exhibition of a piece of art she describes as “octopus pornography.”
Klamer claims the photograph has left her mentally distraught since accidentally and regrettably stumbling upon it in the P. Douglas Kindschi Hall of Science: “The piece is deeply offensive to me, my fellow students, and Jesus.”
Klamer, president of the Christians for Restrictions activism group on campus, has rallied her fellow believers in Christ against this “repulsive display of sin,” claiming that “any person of a sound and reasonable mind can discern that the young woman is, I hesitate to say this, pleasuring herself with the octopus in the piece.”
The lawsuit was filed Wednesday, March 1, in the U.S. District Court in Grand Rapids. Two attorneys, part of an anti-pornography activism group based in Salt Lake City, Utah called Mormons Against Pornin’ are representing Klamer. They have named university president, Thomas J. Haas and two administrators in charge of curating university artwork as the defendants.
It was reported that President Haas initially guffawed when word of the lawsuit reached him, disbelieving the photo was anything close to Hentai, but upon finding the summons requesting his appearance in court on his desk the following morning, Haas curbed his guffaw to a mere chuckle, unable to restrain his laughter due to the thought of octopus pornography.
Klamer and her club members reportedly explained with amusing piety that “it’s not funny” and “under certain Scriptures regarding sexuality, masturbation can become sinful if done to deny sex to your spouse, or if someone were to fantasize about sexual activity, that may fall into Jesus’ definition of ‘lust’ in Matthew 5,” at which point, the group of reporters released a collective sigh.
Two underclassmen, Keith Riser and Tyler Lemens, had some insightful remarks: “It doesn’t look like porn. But if it is, that’s sick. And I mean sick in, like, the cool way. Like it’s really cool,” Lemens stated. Rise agreed, stating: “The girl in the photo is hot too.”
It was reported that Lemens and four other male students agreed with this observation after a few minutes of group debate.
The two art curators for Grand Valley, Kylee Marks and Carol Robin have spoken out to defend the university’s decision to display the piece of art. Marks stated, “We believe that the piece in no way is a display of pornography either octopi or human. It is a work of art that we chose for its beauty and the story behind its creation. If this student has a moral and religious opposition to the photo, perhaps she just shouldn’t look at it.” Robin echoed these remarks on her modern art blog shortly after news of the lawsuit broke but, sadly, nobody has read her modern art blog in over three years.
While waiting for the courts to accept her case, Klamer began a petition to have the picture removed. Thus far, she has only collected signatures from her fellow Christians for Restrictions group members but is patiently waiting on a signature from Jesus Christ himself, who has yet to return for the Second Coming.
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