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Louie the Laker Quits, Makes GoFundMe to Fund His Dream

Louie the Laker has fallen on hard times. Turns out free books doesn’t pay the rent or keep the lights on, so Grand Valley’s mascot has started a GoFundMe page so he can follow his dream:  buying a huge tug boat and becoming a fisherman on Lake Michigan.


When Louie put his two week notice letter on T-Haas’s desk, it surprised students and faculty alike: “I talked to Louie about his decision and I hope everyone will support him in his future endeavors,” said Haas. The Black Sheep had an opportunity to go behind the scenes with Louie and ask him about his personal life.

“Most people see me working at the games, but they fail to realize behind that cheesy-ass permanent smirk’s someone with feelings,” said Louie. “I chose to quit because I wasn’t paid enough and I’m going through some personal hardship after my relationship ended.”

Perplexed and shocked by Louie’s comments, our reporter asked him to elaborate on his personal hardship. Turns out, Louie was abusing steroids during football season, “I couldn’t keep up. I did pushups for every Grand Valley touchdown, but the team was so damn good and I needed a boost. I didn’t want to let the fans down.”

Louie knew he was letting fans down, however, by not doing his job clean, so he quit. After quitting, Louie started a GoFundMe page so he can follow his dreams: “I’m trying to raise enough money to buy a tug boat and become a fisherman on Lake Michigan. That’s what a Laker does, right? Hopefully, I’ll be able to find a mate out at sea, someone that loves Grand Valley as much as me. Getting clean is my priority though, I threw away all my needles and gave all my alcohol to minors.”

After our the interview with Louie, he got on the midnight 50 bus going anywhere. We wish Louie the best of luck in his fishing career. To help Louie out, you can find Louie’s Go Fund Me page at

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