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How to Survive Your Final Semester at GV

Hello seniors. It’s almost time to move on from Grand Valley and move onto the real world full of unemployment, loan payments, and early nights. As shitty as that sounds, it won’t be as shitty as the countdown to finish these next three and a half months. Here are The Black Sheep’s tips for surviving your final semester at GV. Good luck. 

7.) Dump your lover:
Everyone is always saying how we’re all going to remember the college experience for the rest of our lives. Well, if you’re still clinging to that freshman fling, it might be a safe bet to cut ties now, rather than have that really awkward phone call from your mom’s basement in August. Just saying, they’re probably a few other things you should be focusing on… like homework and crippling debt. 

6.) Procrastination IS your friend:
At this point, face it, you’re old. Some might say that should mean you should know better and not wait until the very last minute to type up that analysis or to study for that foreign language final. In reality, this being your last semester means that you owe yourself a little procrastination. Just give yourself a little break; you’ve been working too hard these last 4+ years.

5.) Coffee is your BFF… still:
We didn’t need to put this in here, but goddamn it, you must not forget about this. As we mentioned earlier, you’re old. You need a kick in the morning, before class, after class, during class, on the way to the next class…Hell, you might as well bring a Grab It 2 Go 100oz Biggby mug to your 6-9.  

4.) Slow your roll, set small goals:
There is not a damn thing wrong with getting straight C’s this semester. Set yourself a bar, a really low bar. That way you’ll slink through this semester with little-to-no sweat off your back. Your GPA will survive if you choose to do just one out of every three essays you’re assigned. Probably.  

3.) Do NOT fail:
The last thing you want to be doing this summer is retaking your French class. Or, God forbid, taking another semester of your least favorite classes…that’s pretty embarrassing, people. Set those small goals but make sure you achieve those small goals.  

2.) BOOZE:
Nothing calms you better before those big ol’ final-final exams than a long night downtown or at Mully’s. Alright, maybe not the night before, but you get what we’re saying. Especially since you can legally do so (unless you’re one of those over-achievers graduating at 20).  If college has taught us anything, it’s that drinking solves most problems or at least makes them a little less stressful.   

1.) Sign up for another semester:
The worst part about these next three months is that you have to figure out what the hell you’re going to do when graduation hits, on top of actually doing the work it takes to graduate. If worse comes to worst, you can always sign up for another semester, though this is an “if all else fails” method. Shit, you could even sign up for another major. If you’re not ready for life post-college, then you’re just not ready. Stay in college where it’s safe and you don’t have to get a real-people career yet. 

There you have it, a few golden tickets to help get you through this final semester.. Godspeed Lakers, you’re gonna need it.

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