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Top 10 Methods to Find a Non-Weirdo Roommate for the Fall

As the semester ends, there are still plenty of Lakers who don’t have housing for next year figured out yet. The GVSU Facebook pages are flooding with people frantically looking for roommates. Sure, you could message any one of them, but you’re at risk of living with a total weirdo, which is worse than going to Ferris State. To make sure your hunt for your “roomie goals” goes smoothly, we’ve compiled a list of the top 10 smartest ways to find a good roommate for next fall.  

10.) Table in Kirkhof:
What better way to get the word out that you’re looking for a roomie than bothering every single person that walks through Kirkhof on their way to class?? Only the social, nice students will approach the table, so you’ll get a good indication as to what their personalities are like before potentially letting them live with you.

9.) Post in the class Facebook groups and choose the highest bidder:
If they’re meant to be your roommate, they’ll prove it by betting the most amount of money on living with you. You don’t wanna live with a cheapskate, right? Only true friends will place a bid, so you’ll know who’s worth it and who’s not.

8.) Hold up a “broke, hungry college student sign,” and see who bites:
We’re all kind of broke and hungry, but some lucky Lakers can afford meal plans. If you make a sign, sit outside Fresh and wave it around –only the generous people will give you one of their extra meals, proving to be roomie worthy.

7.) Draw chalk notes all over campus:
You’ve seen the Campus Ministry notes chalked all over campus, but get ready for people showing up to meet you when you chalk all over the sidewalks that you’re ISO and interested in meeting potential roommates. Only social people will notice, so the weirdos who never leave their beds won’t see them anyway.

6.) Ask people for gum:
If college students are most stingy about one thing, it’s giving away their goddamn gum for free. Ask everyone in your lectures for gum, and only about three or four out of 50 will comply. These are the quality people you wanna surround yourself with.

5.) Send a mass email:
There’s nothin’ Lakers love more than when their professors actually reply to them. All you’ve gotta do to get people to open your “spam mail” is to create an email similar to a professor’s so that they think it’s their prof and open it. Once they discover the content, they’ll love your dedication and have to get to know you.

4.) Click bait:
College kids are addicted to free shit, so why not let them think they’ve won a free vacation or something ridiculous?Post flyers all over the bulletin boards in Kirkhof letting them know they’ll be going to Cancun for free as long as they contact you. Trust us, they’ll be in touch .

3.) Stand under the Transformation Link and scream at them:
Most Lakers ignore the idiots who do this, but the interesting students will pick a fight with them. You want a roommate that’s intellectual, so whoever decides to debate you on whatever you’re screaming about will definitely be a winner.

2.) Rearend them in Lot H:
The best way to get someone’s contact information is by rearending them in an on-campus parking lot. Lot H is perfect because when they get understandably angry you can just blame it on lot H being big and confusing. Some will stay mad, but others will be understanding. Regardless, you’ll have lots of students to choose from based on their reactions to your “accident.”

1.) Scope out the dog owners:
Literally anyone with a pupper would make a solid roommate, as dog people are just better people (and they also have a  dog you’d get to live with so you can’t go wrong). Just wait in Kirk’s lawn for about 10 minutes and you’ll see at least five people walk past with their dogs. 

When you’re trying to find a roommate for next year, make sure you’re doing at least one of these10 things, as doing anything other than these may result in a less than average roommate. Hey, don’t say we didn’t warn you.

 

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