Last spring brought with it many highs. A new Panda Express, A Chick-Fil-A, and weather that was way less rainy and depressing as usual. Despite the highs, campus lost a beautiful treasure with the closing of Wendy’s. No one is quite sure what caused the sudden closing of Wendy’s, but there is speculation. It could have been failure to meet health codes, or maybe the staff of ex-cons finally rebelled in a revolt reminiscent of a prison riot, but with more chicken nuggets No matter the cause, UIC will miss Wendy’s and those sweet, sweet 4 for $4’s for eternity. However, it’s time to move on. Here we break down possible suitors for the Wendy’s in UIC’s Inner Circle.
You may be thinking, “Hardee’s? But, Hardee’s is absolute garbage!” Well, you’re not wrong. While the food at Hardee’s is less than desirable, that means one thing: it’s cheap! What better way to replace the greased-up food that Wendy’s offers other than another burger joint serving up cheap food for you to throw down before you head to BSB?
Given the choice between Popeye’s and KFC, anyone in their right mind will choose Popeye’s. With no fried chicken places on campus (Chick-Fil-A is not the same thing), Popeye’s offers quick food for a decent price. Aside from quality fast food, who wouldn’t want the smell of those biscuits circulating the Inner Circle? Make sure to buy a drink there, as the water in any UIC building is warm, tastes off, and smells like sewer runoff.
Yes, there is already a Mexican place in the Inner Circle. Yes, that Mexican place does suck. No, Taco Bell isn’t exactly Mexican cuisine. With good food and low prices, Taco Bell offers UIC a place that’ll wow UIC students. Perfect for those who smoke weed in The Warm Spot on campus and need to support those mid-day munchies. Taco Bell may not be authentic, but whatever it is, it’s delicious.
This is the most logical fit. With no great juice/beverage places on campus (who actually goes to Argo Tea?) Jamba Juice would offer UIC a place other than The Rec to go to for overpriced smoothies, and in a much more convenient location on campus. The neon-colored smoothie haven would also brighten up the Inner Circle to look more like a dining center rather than the insane asylum that it currently resembles.
This option would please UIC students the most. Fast, quality, and in demand, students would flock to this place all day long. Imagine all the Snapchats of burrito bowls at any given time. The big downside to Chipotle opening on campus would be the massive line. The only thing that could rival a line for a Chipotle on a college campus is the DMV. Although students could be waiting what feels like an eternity for their food, it would all be worth it when they get that guac.
With all of these options as possible suitors for UIC’s fallen princess, no other option would be better than bringing back Wendy’s to its rightful place on campus. After all, that red headed, freckled girl is the sole reason many UIC students chose to come to the university in the first place. May you rest in peace Wendy. You may be gone, but you will never be forgotten.