5 Types of Guys You Will Meet Rushing a Frat at UIC

author-pic at Illinois (Chicago)  

With Rush Week here, UIC freshmen will soon be breaking out their new Sperry’s and Chubbies in hopes of impressing the right guys to get a bid from a fraternity on campus. With only five chapters on campus UIC’s Greek Life offers an odd variety of people who don letters and parade around campus like they own the place. No matter which chapter, every organization has a mix a characters that you’ll meet in the process of finding your fit. Here, we break them down:

 

The Wannabe Athlete:

Often seen tossing a football around at rush events, these guys didn’t make their high school’s varsity teams. Now, they use their mediocre athletic abilities to show off their fraternity’s knack for sports. Most commonly spotted in jerseys, a wannabe athlete will take every opportunity they can to showcase their athleticism.

Conversation: Sports achievements in high school, how The Bears are going to bounce back, and, “Go long!”

The Frat Douche Who Thinks They Go To Ole Miss:

Seen sporting Sperry’s, strapped sunglasses, and a polo, these guys stick out like a sore thumb at UIC. While appropriate attire at a big school in the South, boat shoes start to look ridiculous in Chicago’s winter months. The typical frat douche will spend more time eyeing sororities’ recruitment tables than their own and telling PNMs how much Natty Light they slammed the night before.

Conversation points include: Their dad’s boat, how hard they “fucking send it,” and making America great again.

The Kid Who Sucked in High School, but Think They’re the Shit Because of Their Letters:

Spotted in the back of the group of his “brothers,” no one in his fraternity is quite sure how he received a bid. His frat tries their hardest to hide him so that he doesn’t attract any more weirdos, but his love of anime and longboarding just radiate off of him. This guy is usually talking about how he needs to catch up on Dragon Ball and always suggests terrible ideas for fundraisers.

Conversation points are: Heelying, Sailor Moon, and video games.

The Brother Who is Being Forced to Come to Recruitment:

This guy is seen occupying the only chair at rush events. Since he’s seated all the time it’s speculated that he actually owns the chair. When asked about the fraternity he’s quoted as saying, “It’s alright, back in the day it was better, though.” This brother is most likely in his fifth year and smokes a ton of weed.

Conversation points are: How much the rival frat sucks, how he “doesn’t even want to be here right now,” and how to skip class effectively.

The Drunk:

While there are tons of rules against it and it’s the only rule taken seriously, there still manages to be a brother who pregamed rush and didn’t get caught. This guy is easy to spot. He smells of liquor, has a cigarette in his ear, and in a better mood than most of the people around him. The Drunk is a rare site, though. Make the most of him while you can because he will soon be passed out.

Conversation points are: “How lit this event is”, figuring out plans to go out after, and how big of a buzz kill the Risk Management chair is.