Connect with us
Connect with us

Illinois (Chicago)

6 Things You Saw In Courtyard That Seriously F***ed You Up Forever

Dorming at UIC for a semester brought with it a ton of memories. From the late nights hanging out with your new friends to the hour-long sessions on the toilet thanks to the food provided by the UIC Dining Services. No matter what experience you had, you were guaranteed to see some fucked up shit while living in Courtyard. Here we break down a few things that messed you up:

 

6.) Your Roommate’s Diet:

Getting paired up with the weird, smelly kid was never the ideal situation. You made do through the first couple of weeks of school avoiding conversation and stuffing your face into your comforter as you slept to avoid the stench. When you saw that he was eating scoops of peanut butter and washing it down with milk 4 weeks spoiled, it left a lasting impact on the way you choose to eat. So what if you go to Panda Express 6 times a week? It’s better than that peanut butter diet.

 

5.) That Possible Orgy in the Room Next to You:

You never really spoke to your cluster mate while in Courtyard, aside from the first day when you didn’t have any friends and you figured you’d go to the caf with them. Since then you’ve made your group of pals and now you stay secluded from the rest of UIC. That one night has left you scarred though, how many people were involved? Why were they moaning so loud? Why did you hear power tools?

4.) The Cops Tackling That One Kid and Arresting Him:  

It happens every year. Someone in Courtyard gets arrested and the rumors start to fly. Some say he was selling weed and others say that he was human trafficking through the dorms. No matter the case, watching 3 200lb cops tackle the kid who was maybe 115lb– and the way his body flew– will be etched into your mind for eternity.

 

3.) Your Buddy Violently Puking Out all of His Organs:

For the majority of UIC students, their first experience with alcohol is in the dorms. Courtyard is no exception. With the cluster living conditions, the ability to get sick in the privacy of your own bathroom after a night of drinking on Taylor Street is a luxury, which results in some fond memories. Watching a demon escape your friend’s stomach is one memory that will never leave your head.

 

2.) That Time You Saw Your Roommate’s Dick:

It was bound to happen. Living together for a whole year, there are destined to be miscommunications. Whether it was after a shower, walking in after a night of drinking, or just when one of you forgot the other’s morning routine, neither of you enjoyed it, but neither of you will ever forget it.

 

1.) Getting Caught Smoking Weed in Your Dorm Room:

There was no way to get around it. The sploof you made out of the empty toilet roll and the dryer sheets your mom gave you before you left to college could only hold up so long. You’ll never forget the moment you heard that knock on the door: All cozy in your beanbag chair, wearing pajama pants, eating Flamin’ Hot Cheetos. You were living like a king. Until you heard that knock. You heard “RA on duty” and it was all over. You thought you were getting kicked out of school, that your parents were going to disown you. In the end UIC’s Campus Housing just told you not to do it again…which you totally didn’t listen to.

Continue Reading

More from Illinois (Chicago)

Advertisement
Advertisement
To Top