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Illinois (Chicago)

F*** It, We Ranked UIC’s Buildings

UIC’s campus is a nearly immutable mass of concrete and glass. The old, riot-proof concrete monstrosities of the 1960s compete with the slick, see-through glass buildings of the modern renovations. Here’s a quick ranking of these campus landmarks.

 

8.) Lecture Centers:

Lecture centers A-F create UIC’s Stonehenge, encircling the vibrant openness of the quad with their old, concrete gaze. They used to be the coolest buildings on campus in days when they were connected by elevated skywalks so students could waltz between classes without setting foot on the frozen tundra outside. Nowadays, they are remnants of their former glory, boasting nothing more than insufficient seating for a class of 200.

 

7.) BAT Cave:

The BAT Cave consists of three buildings: Burnham, Adams, and Taft Halls. Representing more of the original UIC buildings, these halls are reminiscent of your high school hallways – open doors and laminate floors. These buildings are the discussion sanctuaries of UIC, never glorified with the honor of hosting a lecture, but necessary all the same.

6.) University Hall:

Despite being a staple in administrative and student resources, UH can’t rank higher than 6th on campus for one simple reason: it’s literally falling apart. Those scaffolds surrounding it on the ground? Yeah, that’s to stop a student from getting brained by falling concrete ripped off the side of the building by a 30mph gust of wind because, oh yeah, putting a huge building in the middle of an open field creates a wind tunnel – who woulda thought?

 

5.) SES:

UIC’s Science and Engineering building houses all sorts of weird shit. A seemingly endless maze of doors that open to nowhere and hallways that end without warning, this building is spooky. Those anatomical skeletons used in bio labs? They’re actually the skeletons of students who got lost and perished in one of the many hallways of SES.

 

4.) BSB:

The Behavioral Sciences Building is another maze on campus; UIC just loves fucking with the new students. This building houses psychology classes in which students can study the abnormal psychology of the maniac who designed BSB.

 

3.) Lincoln/Grant/Douglas Hall:

UIC’s “safe space” for LAS students – these all glass buildings house LAS classes and provide a study area where English majors can write papers without fear of being ridiculed by STEM majors for getting a worthless degree. Coincidentally, the writing center is located in Grant Hall – the ultimate sanctuary for LAS majors where they can critique STEM majors’ English 101 papers and ask how they graduated high school without an understanding of basic English.

 

2.) SCE:

Student Center East is the main hub for everything at UIC. It boasts such attractions as the Inner Circle, Commuter Center, Bookstore, and the cafeteria – in short, without SCE UIC would suck. The university has been making some questionable calls with this building recently (looking at you, Wendy’s), but it remains the most important building on campus.

 

1.). Richard J. Daley Library:

The library is without a doubt the best building on campus. It has thousands of books and resources for students to use, as well as a comfortable social atmosphere where students can pretend to study. As questionable as it was making the fourth floor silent, the university did something right by putting more seating up there – and the second floor social study replacement is just as unproductive as the fourth floor used to be, so no complaints there.

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