Avid skater Dave “Shredmeister” Boris was disturbed yesterday upon a landed trick in the UIC Quad.
“I was, like, surprised dude,” The Shredmeister told The Black Sheep. “I’ve been out here for months working my tail off for these people, and when I finally kill the sickest set of a lifetime no one even bats an eye.”
Boris, 20, does not attend UIC.
“I’m here for the gnarly landscapes and my cool bros,” He said swaying his hair out of his face and puffing on his JUUL. “Yeah I don’t go to school here, but that doesn’t mean I’m not part of the culture. I’ve been entertaining Quad-goers for two years now.”
When asked about his feelings towards UIC students the 20-year-old said, “Well, I thought we were family until today. From this day forward, I know who my real fam is: Howie, Teddy B., and my trusty steed Tessa.” Boris said pointing to fellow skaters and his skateboard.
“It’s upsetting, but I’ll get over it. Life is like the riding the board, man. Sometimes you fall, but you just have to get back up and try again. I’ll be back tomorrow.”
Junior Jackie Refot commented on the day’s events:
“He what? Landed a kick flip? Cool, I would hope he could kick flip. I’ve seen these dudes out here everyday for the last two years. They should be X-Games-ready by now,” she said. “Hopefully they’ll finally let me walk to my 3p.m. finance class now instead of constantly asking if they can ollie my backpack.”
“Shredmeister’s a good kid, dude. He’s like my protégé or whatever. When he landed that trick I felt like the universe should have clapped, but it was just me and Howie.” Said Boris’ friend, Teddy B.
The trio was last seen exchanging e-cigs and fist bumps on a bench in the Quad before asking students passing by if they could “borrow their backpack for a sec.”