Bouncer for the local bar Ten Doors, Jason “The Mountain” Jones has been working Thursdays at Ten Doors long enough that he hates it. Each week, he has the unpleasant job of bouncing on the bar’s busiest night: college night.
“These little monsters piss me off, man,” the huge bouncer stated with a dead look in his eyes, “you have no idea what kind of shit I’ve seen.”
When asked for examples, Jones recounted dozens of stories involving severely intoxicated college students trying to sneak into the bar, bribe him, and, on occasion, fight him. When
The Black Sheep asked him about last night, September 21st, Jones said, “Man, there was some sorority girl who was absolutely wasted. I shit you not, she actually tried to climb over the patio fence to try and sneak in; her dress got caught on one of the poles and she face-planted right onto the concrete. Unbelievable,” he said, laughing.
A recent jab from the college students that has wormed under his skin is his new nickname, “The Mountain.” The name stems from the popular HBO show Game of Thrones, describing a brute of a man twice the size of a normal human. “I know they think it’s funny but it really hurts, man” Jones told us, “big boys have feelings too.”
As he recovers from last night’s trauma, Jones tells us how he started the job, “Narsi told me that it wouldn’t be too hard because these kids don’t know shit about real bars, but that’s what makes it impossible. There’s no etiquette. At least downtown the adults know how to handle themselves, but if I make it through one week here without some kid puking on my shoes I’ll count myself lucky. He conned me, man. This job sucks.”
While you celebrate the fact that you can get wasted in the middle of the week for four glorious years of your life, remember to be polite to the bouncers at your local watering hole. As a reward, maybe he’ll look the other way when you try to pass yourself off as the 6’5” 26 year-old your fake ID says you are.