Earlier in the year, members of two UIC Facebook groups were stunned by a shocking post from UIC administration announcing the Class of 2020 and Class of 2021 would be archived on Aug. 1, which came and went without either pages being taken down.
Now, according to unsubstantiated rumors, the Facebook groups are expected to shut down due to an overwhelming number of losers posting screenshots of their schedules along with the dangerously lame caption: “What’s good?”
To gather information on the validity of the rumors, The Black Sheep caught up with Rosanne Fisher, a UIC employee responsible for monitoring various social media outlets.
“We was gonna give them a break,” Fisher said in a statement. “But that was before we started seeing the stupid shit they be doing now. ‘What’s good?’ What’s good! These little assholes started thinking they was cool and shitposting ‘What’s good’! We suppose to read through all of their stupid little posts, and but every time my eyes fall upon these, a part of me dies insides. So, this time we shutting them down for good!”
The Black Sheep then caught up with one of the perpetrators of the “What’s good?” posts, an incoming freshman who has asked to be left nameless.
“Look bro, you know man, dude that’s what everyone’s doing, man. What’s good, you know man. I was just wondering, bro, what’s good. That’s why I posted that I just wanted to know who else was in my remedial math, remedial English, and intro business class. I was just looking for more bros to hang with, man.”
When asked if his “What’s good?” posts actually made him cool, he began crying, and concealed himself behind a vape cloud, fleeing the scene on a longboard.
Unfortunately, those responsible for the page shutdowns are not the only students that will be affected. UIC junior Sara Shepard, who claims innocence of any what’s good-ing, shared her thoughts on the upcoming shutdowns.
“Yeah, I suppose administration has a point: My eyes did also started bleeding if I read one of those posts when I wasn’t wearing a welding visor,” Shepard said. “And they did cause me to punch a few walls. But at the same time, it was worth it. If it wasn’t for the Class of 2020 group, I would never have met my best friend who I found on there offering money to people to write her art history paper.”
While for the moment the pages remain active, there are signs of the university’s continued desire to end the targeted posts, including multiple threatening comments from the account of school mascot Sparky being left below “What’s good?” posts.
Meanwhile supporters of the page have reached out to Facebook CEO Mark Zuckerberg for help in preventing the shutdowns. Unfortunately, Zuckerberg was unable to be reached for comment as he was away reporting to his lizard overlords on his home planet.
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