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UIC’s Back-Of-Library Smokers Continue Resistance

Following last week’s removal of seating and amenities outside the Richard J. Daley library, the group of smokers often found inhabiting the area are fed up with UIC’s treatment of them.


“They’ve tried to take everything from us,” Mike Morrison, a junior architecture major said. “We’ve seen the ‘no smoking’ signs for years. No one obeyed them and it was never a problem. This year UIC took out our benches.  That just wasn’t cool, man. It’s like they’re trying to rip our habit from our yellowed claws.”


Morrison spoke about the campus taking out benches from the popular smoking spot just behind campus last week. “They can take our benches, but they can never take our will to smoke cigs.” He said.


The group reacted to the omission of seating by bringing large bricks to sit and smoke on between classes. “The benches were certainly more humane, but these bricks work just the same. When they took our bricks we brought a huge tire. They took that too. This is what Germany in the 30s must have felt like.”


“They don’t understand that this won’t be tolerated,” said Dante Almori, head of UIC’s campus ethics. “We’re doing everything we can to eliminate tobacco at UIC. If we have to we’ll keep taking whatever they bring to sit on. Whether it’s that huge tire or just the bricks they so cleverly brought, we will not back down.”

“We have big plans for our cig smoking arrangement.” Morrison told The Black Sheep. “We’re going to install tables over there, a snack bar at the south end, and we we’re even thinking about a water slide over here, that’s a passion project of mine. We’re really going to spruce the place up. UIC should be thankful, honestly,” Morrison continued, mid-cigarette puff with blueprints in hand. “This is going to be the premiere spot for ripping darts in the whole West Loop.”


The war for cigarette smokers’ rights on UIC’s campus wages on. Both sides stay strong on their stances and refuse to budge an inch.


“This is bigger than me or you. Bigger than Marlboro or Camel. This is about students’ rights,” Morrison wheezed. “If we let them take away our cigarette lounge what’s next, our cig spot above BSB? I just can’t stand for that.”

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