10 Things You Won’t Miss About ISU Over Winter Break

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The Black Sheep loves ISU just as much as the next Redbird. However, after a semester as brutal as our football team’s record, it’s safe to say that we’re ready to GTFO. So, here’s a list of the top ten things you definitely won’t miss about ISU over winter break.

10.) Free UPB Cups:

Studies have shown that the leading cause of mismatched kitchenware on campus is University Program Board and the free goddamn cups they give out every day. Next semester, please invest in some plates or a matching bowl set so we can at least try and have a complete set.

9.) The Smell of Subway:

One of the best things about being home is being able to smell literally anything else. If ISU had an official fragrance, it would be called “Sloppily Made Footlongs.” Thankfully for the next month, you and your nose will not have to experience it.

8.) Parking on Campus:

If you don’t buy a parking permit you’re shit out of luck. Street parking is ass and meter parking is ass’ cousin, Peter. Paying hourly at the Bone also sucks. Be grateful you won’t have to stress about how you will make it all the way from Willow Trails to the COB for the next few weeks.

7.) Career and Internship Fairs:

Each semester, the Career Center’s fairs have a way of reminding you just how unprepared you are compared to all the business majors. Must be nice to have your shit together.

6.) The Rock Climbing Wall:

At this point in the semester, you have probably already packed on some extra winter pounds. You can barely handle carrying your backpack and your latte from Einstein, let alone your body weight up a 47-foot high wall.

5.) Overpriced ISU Swag:

Maybe if you went to Wesleyan you wouldn’t mind paying $30 for a cotton shirt with a giant bird on it. But you go to a state school, and you go here for a reason. Adios, Barnes & Noble.

4.) Friday Nights:

You can’t miss what you don’t remember.

3.) The Sound of Music:

We don’t mean the musical that for some reason always pops up around the holidays. Instead we’re referring to the various noises coming out of Cook Hall. Listen, BRRM, we respect what you’re doing, but we don’t really want to hear it.

2.) Milner Library:

Oh my god. After spending countless hours here over the past few weeks, you cannot wait to never step foot in here again. Or at least till next semester’s finals.

1.) Redbird Dollars:

Literally WTF are these? Why doesn’t ISU just combine them with Flex?  It’s like ISU came up with two names for the same thing and couldn’t decide which one it liked better so they kept both. Either way, it’ll be nice to not deal with Redbird Dollars and their bullshit for a month.

Yeah, you might not miss the smells of old lunch meat and broken dreams while you’re away, but you’re definitely going to start missing your freedom and your friends when your parents ask you to play Monopoly with them every night.