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4 New Spots at ISU to Puke on Your Walk Home from the Bar

 

The happiest time of the year is when the new school year starts. Refund checks are cashing in, people are seeing their friends for the first time in months, and a lot of construction projects that were started the year before are finally finished. Redbirds love their new facilities and try to use them as much as possible, especially while inebriated, because what else is there to do on your walk home from the bar? Here are four new places to throw up on on your druken stumble home.

4.) The Fire Station:

After two years of waiting for a new nursing school on campus, Normal built its very own fire station instead. This is definitely a curb appeal on your walk home from a hard night out. Refresh yourself with some water from some firehose, or break in and put on a show for your friends on the fire pole. As long as you don’t steal anything and only throw up in one pair of boots, the Normal Fire Department may not mind you being there, and might even feed you after noticing the poor condition you’re in.

3.) The Lodge II:

Run through a construction site with your friends and organize a game of tag! Play hide and seek tag with your friends and lose a one or two. Dizzy bat’s also fun to play if you really wanna barf. It’s not a fun night unless someone pukes where they aren’t supposed to. You’ll also have bragging rights as the first students to vom in the new and improved Lodge II, cute!

2.) Bike Stations:

Tired of walking in the middle of the night? Lucky for you, ISU has added a few more bike stops on campus. You can easily just jump on a bike and ride it back to your apartment, turning your 30 minute walk into 10 minutes for maximum efficiency. One must be warned that riding a bike while drunk might induce some intense vomiting because of the speeds and constant turns, so plan accordingly.

1.) Portillo’s:

Stoners all over rejoice in the fact that they can get a cake shake without the two hour commute, and the local drunks can now get a delicious Italian beef as big as their head. Not only a great spot to grab a bite, it’s also perfect for immediately throwing it up! As long as you buy food, this new restaurant is the perfect place to relieve yourself from one too many pitchers. Plus, you know you won’t be the only one doing it.

These places truly prove that there is a lot to be excited for the 2017-2018 school year. Whether you want to heave on some hot firemen or blow chunks in a Chicago themed restaurant, ISU’s done an excellent job in continuing to be a home for your leftovers.

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