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How to Avoid Getting Carried Away by the Watterson Wind Tunnel…Again

It’s no secret that there’s a magical wind tunnel in front of Watterson. This mini storm makes it difficult for a good fourth of our student mass to get to class. We need to get to class because it’s soooo important, so how do we prevent getting blown away?

Eat enough D.P. Dough that you end up being too fat to be blown away:
This is probably the most enjoyable way to keep yourself grounded. Make your way to D.P. Dough on the daily and eventually you’ll gain enough weight to never be able to get pushed by the dastardly wind. All that bread will weigh you down so much you won’t even remember your problem. Just be wary of health problems that come with stuffing your mouth hole with bread all day.

Get yourself an umbrella:
Julie Andrews may be the only person who can pull off riding an umbrella in the wind, but it’s not like it’s that hard. Dig your umbrella out from the depths of fall semester and ride the winds to class. Your peers will be impressed that you’re using your resources to get to class in a timely manner.

Hit the ground:
Crawling to class may not be the most glamorous thing, but it may save you some more dignity than being blown across the Watterson plaza. Crawl over and take cover behind the hills. People might think you’re crazy, or just getting hazed, so hopefully you’re not affiliated with Greek life.

Travel through buildings:
This technique adds about 10 minutes to your walk to class, but it’s worth it if you’d rather not show up to class with a wind burn. Sprint between buildings to have that warm commute. You might even run into some of your favorite professors. Just make sure you don’t run into your 8 a.m. instructor that you told you had the flu and couldn’t make it to their class this week.

Don’t:
Just don’t go to class and hope for the best! It’s like a guessing game with your grade. If the wind bothers you that much, try getting your degree from the cozy confinements of your own apartment!

Weigh yourself down with some heavy clothes:
If eating pounds of bread isn’t your thing, just wear heavy clothes! Wear clothing that is made out of uniquely heavy material and you’ll never have to worry about being blown out of the way on your morning commute.

Starting a new semester is hard, but what’s even harder is trudging through a windstorm before class. Follow these tips and the only thing that’ll be blowing away are your teachers when you ace these courses!

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