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A Guide to Choosing Which Milner Floor You Should Live On This Week

 

With finals week coming up, ISU students are gearing up for those long and draining hours of studying. Since studying in your room isn’t always the best idea, we recommend heading to Milner. Because it can be hard to navigate the lib during finals, we here at The Black Sheep have put together the ultimate guide to each floor of Milner.

Floor 1: If You Want to Hide and Cry Without Being Found:

No one will see or hear you since no one goes here. Ever. We assume cell service is spotty down here, even you won’t be able to find you. Bring a little booze to enjoy while you sulk over your ReggieNet grade book. You can let out all your frustrations and then resurface upstairs like nothing even happened.

Floor 2: If Your Friends are Tired of Hearing You Bitch About Your Classes:

If you’re feeling super overwhelmed, talk to one of the reference desk ladies. Unlike your friends, they can’t just get up and leave. That, or you can make friends with the Einstein barista. This will open a door for the perfect opportunity to get multiple free refills, which will be useful for that all-nighter you’re gonna need if you keep chatting instead of studying.

Floor 3: If You Don’t Want to Study. Like at All:

As the designated group project meeting spot, it will be noisy. This floor even has has dogs if the loud group next to you wasn’t distracting enough! With so many people shouting up there, things can get pretty heated.

Floor 4: If You Prefer the Lifestyle of a Mouse:

Two words of advice for this floor: Shut Up. Do not eat anything that surpasses a level two on the sound scale. Chips are a no go, and don’t even think about eating that Cracker Jack that you picked up from Watty during baseball week. The people on this floor are fearless in telling you to shut the f*** up. They mean business, and if you’re on this floor you should too.

Floor 5: If You Prefer the Lifestyle and Bladder of a Mouse:

The same thing for Floor 4 applies to Floor 5. The only difference is that you may not be able to pee on this floor. You can use this to your advantage, in that you will be taking less breaks while studying because you’re too lazy to walk down or up the stairs for a bathroom break.

Floor 6: If You Like Spending Half Your Study Session Looking for a Seat:

Seats on Floor 6 are scarce during the regular school year, so it only gets worse during finals week. Make sure you or a friend gets there at 7 a.m. not to study, but rather, to ensure that you get a table with the comfortable green seats. After obtaining the table, make sure at least one member of the study group is there at any given time. We mean 24/7. ISU students are vultures when it comes to library seating, and you do not want to find yourself tableless.

Summer is so close that we can smell it. Only one thing stands in our way of sunshine and sandy beaches: finals. Use this guide to ensure you have a breezy finals week. And don’t forget to tell this semester to suck it!

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