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ISU’s Fall 2016 Top 10 Sexiest Professors

We look at these professors day after day, sometimes at 8 a.m. on a Friday. And let’s be honest, some of these professors are downright sexy. So get ready for the first annual Top 10 Sexiest Professors at the Illinois State University: 

10.) Alan Cring: 

alan-craig

Alan, coming from the School of Business, is one sexy prof. He has the hair of a God, and the goatee of a 70s rockstar. He has gotten some cheap hookers in Vietnam, but who hasn’t right? He is a photographer, an audio engineer ( is he trying to be Morgan Freeman?), and will whisper your ear off about annuities until you finance a perpetuity of jizz in your shorts. 

9.) Craig J. Cullen: 

craig-j-cullen

This is an easy one. If you add beautiful eyes, a handsome voice, and a rock hard body what do you get? Craig J. Cullen from the Department of Mathematics at number nine on the Sexiest Professors at Illinois State list. Looking into his eyes you might literally become seduced enough to do some hyperbolic geometry. Good Lord, he is a beautiful man. 

8.) William McBride: 

william-mcbride

When you first heard him on WGLT with your grandparents, you thought, “who is that?” Then you found out that NPR superstar William McBride, is teaching your English class! Your heart drops, and you think that you found love with that beautiful bald head of his. 

7.) Steve Suess: 

steve-suess

You might find Steve Suess busy being the WZND faculty advisor, or being one of the most beautiful men with a Casey’s breakfast pizza at 5:30 a.m. on the quad. He grew up in the small rural town of Reddick, Illinois giving him that farm boy charm with a side of naughty (he roots for the Detroit Lions). A libertarian, and an avid WWE fan, you’ll have so much to talk about! 

6.) Richard Sullivan: 

richard-sullivan

You’ll be mesmerized the entire time you’re in his sociology class. Sure it’s a gen ed, but that good ol’ dick will make you feel so good and special in class. He has been known to be sexy enough to actually convince people that sociology is a good choice for a major. You’ll find yourself five years down the road as an assistant manager in a CVS and think, “Man, did those good looks really make me think that sociology majors make money? ” 

5.) Rajeev Goel: 

rajeev-goel

Representing the economics department, Dr. Goel is one beautiful man. Small in stature sure, but he is not small in sexual attractiveness. With a body that would make kings bow, the demand for it and his econ knowledge is off the charts. A solid choice for number five on the sexy ISU list. 

4.) Thomas Zona: 

zona_thomas

You signed up for this gen ed as a freshman, hating chemistry, and then you walk into the first day of class and see Dr. Zona. Looking like a cross between Brad Pitt and Steve Buscemi, Dr. Zona is hard to take your eyes off of. The curve on the test and in his pants will make you just want to take him back to your place, sit in front of the fireplace, and peruse that periodic table. 

3.) David Johnson: 

david-johnson

Dr. Johnson might be an old timer, but the history he teaches might make you actually remember. The sexiest thing about him is not only the fact that his last name is a synonym for dick, but that his lectures seem to last for an eternity. So all that’s left to think about are all the crazy, sexy things that Mr. Johnson can do with his Mr. Johnson. Swing it around, cook eggs over easy, or jimmy a car lock with it. Who knows.

2.) Jodi Hallsten Lyczak: 

dr-jofi-hallsten-lyczak

Jodi is a professor of many talents. Whether it is putting the notes in the wrong order, not understanding ReggieNet, or showing up 30 minutes late to the final, Jodi is the total package. She’s a wonderful lady and will listen to you whenever you need it.

1.) John McHale: 

john-mchale

While he’s chugging an Ol’ Glory Energy Drink in your COM 161 Convergent Media class, you might start to feel a little tug in your gut when he mentions AP style format. That’s because John McHale is the sexiest professor at Illinois State. With the swagger that even his baby momma can’t keep her hands off, he has something that every undergrad wants. Good looks, funny banter, and hatred for people who have the confederate flag on the back of their truck.

Think you know a sexier professor or have some other ideas? Well too bad, cause no one is sexier than these guys.

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