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Ways to Pretend You’re at PCB Even Though You’re Broke and Alone at ISU

 

Nothing is more annoying than sitting in your room alone watching a bunch of your drunk friends enjoying life at Panama City Beach on Snapchat. While an all-inclusive resort sounds nice, there are still plenty of things to do at ISU when you’re too broke to travel over spring break.

7.) Facetime Friends and Pretend You’re on the Beach with Them:
Thanks to technology, you don’t have to go out and actually do things; you can just pretend to. Imagine yourself breathing in that fresh air through the screen, and hit on a hot guy/girl that’s tanning on the beach. This way, you won’t have to miss vacation your friends or leave your dorm room!

6.) Drink Margaritas at Fiesta Ranchera:
Save $900 by experiencing the authenticity of Fiesta Ranchera. Dive into a few margaritas, and if you get drunk enough, start doing the salsa in the middle of the floor. Just remember you’re not really in another country, so if you completely embarrass yourself you will most likely see these people again. But who cares? You’re on vacation right now, dance away.

5.) Go Snorkeling in Uptown Circle’s Weird Pond Thing:
Create an exciting excursion in your college town by running over to Uptown Circle. Dump your favorite goldfish in the pond and search for him while wearing swim goggles. It’ll be just like venturing through the ocean, only a lot cheaper. Once you find Goldie, snap a picture and boast to all your social media friends about how cool you are and the insane amount of fun you’re having.

4.) Toss Your Phone Off the Top of Watterson:
One of the best parts of vacation is disconnecting from technology and actually relaxing. So, toss your phone off the top of Watty (or maybe just hit airplane mode). Either way, cut yourself off and pretend you lost a signal while hiking across your couches.

3.) Lie About Your Location on Facebook:
You’ll probably see all your friends checking in at locations across the country, but the great thing is, it doesn’t have to be true. Facebook won’t tell anyone you’re a liar for checking in at the Barbados even though you’re sitting alone at DP Dough. Make everyone think you’re out exploring the world, even if you haven’t gone further than your kitchen.

2.) Lay Your Beach Towel Next to the Showers in Hewett:
Sure it’s not an ocean, but the sound of the water can still relax you. You could take a step in, or just relax and enjoy the view. You won’t get sand in your every crevice, but the feeling of filth from laying on a bathroom floor for a few hours will be very similar.

1.) Show Off Your Swim Suit at the Rec:
Weather during the spring in Illinois definitely won’t top the 95 degree weather in Miami, but that doesn’t mean you can’t show everyone that beach body you worked all semester for. So, hit up the pool at the rec and own it like a runway, a very underpopulated, wet runway.

There’s no need to be jealous of your rich friends from Naperville when you can enjoy the same luxuries of a five-star hotel from good ol’ Normal. Ok, maybe not exactly the same, but a whole lot cheaper.

 

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