Turns out there is more than one reason to give your friend’s a beer shower at midnight in Red Lion, and it’s usually for a less exciting reason. Here’s a few other instances where you could throw cups of beer at someone and no one could say a thing about it:
7.) You caught them talking to their ex again:
You’ve got to be frickin’ kidding me. You can only drag someone away from their crazy ex so many times before you have to start taking extreme measures. Maybe a nice beer shower will wake their stupid ass up. Open your eyes, Patricia, he ain’t shit!
6.) They didn’t save you a seat in Foellinger:
The ultimate betrayal. How you gonna leave your friend to fend for themselves in a lecture guaranteed to leave some people sitting on the stairs, struggling to take notes. Frankly, a beer shower isn’t nearly as bad as the back pain you suffer after squatting on the stairs in Foellinger for 50 minutes.
5.) Your tender charged you full price for drinks:
This could honestly be considered one of the seven deadly sins. Tenders owe it to their friends to hook them up with strong, cheap drinks that were already overpriced to begin with. Hopefully this terrible act of betrayal never happens to you, but if it does, you know what you need to do.
4.) She spilled a vodka cran on your favorite bodysuit:Making it through a night at Lion without getting a drink spilled on you is impressive. This is what makes us girls weary when it comes to letting other people borrow our going out clothes. So, if Becky ruins your favorite bodysuit after begging to borrow it, make sure to beer shower her with her favorite bodysuit on. It’s only fair.
3.) Your frat bro drunkenly peed in your bed:
Rumor has it that many frat guys have a habit of taking a trip back in time to 2nd grade when they would wet the bed after a night out. It’s one thing to wake up in your own piss, but someone else’s? Nah. Beer shower.
2.) They didn’t hold the stall door closed for you in the bathroom:
As a woman, one of our duties is to hold the stall door closed for our fellow ladies while they break the seal after icing out six vodka sprites. If you fail to abide by this unspoken rule, you’ve practically earned a beer shower. If you’ve ever flashed a bunch of women after peeing in a broken stall at Lion because your friend didn’t do her job, you’ve earned the right to drench her in warm beer.
1.) They cockblocked you:
You know when your friend is too drunk to take the hint that they should leave you alone with that cutie you’ve been flirting with for the last hour? Yeah, that’s a punishable offense.
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