Not all UIUC students are blessed with the opportunity to stay on campus for three months during the summer. Instead, they have to return home to their boring suburb and live in their childhood house. However, just because you’re stuck in a Chicago suburb doesn’t mean your summer can’t still feel like UIUC, as long as you do these 8 things.
8.) Take Pictures Next to Local Statues:
If there’s anything that Chicago suburbs love having, it’s ceramic statues of things that represent their town. Pony up next to your local buffalo statue and take a picture with it, just as you would with Alma on campus. Don’t visit the statue around graduation season or the line to take a picture with it will be down the block.
7.) Read Books in the Children’s Section of the Library:
Libraries are no longer the social hubs of the suburbs like they were back when we were in middle school doing group projects for social studies class, but they’re nice buildings that can provide you with loads of knowledge. You should head on over to the UGL (read: children’s section of the library) and cozy up with a good book while the real adults are over with the adult novels.
6.) Dance While Sitting at a High Top:
Except for trucker stops, bars in the suburbs are nearly non-existent, so the only place to find high top tables to get lit at are going to be at the local Chipotle. Once you finish off your burrito, continue sitting on your barstool and dance by yourself to Bruno Mars music. It’ll feel like nothing has changed since your last Block of the semester at Lion.
5.) Be Interviewed by The Black Sheep Guy:
No matter where you are, one person will always be able to find you: The Black Sheep Guy, the strange UIUC student who spends his Saturday nights talking to drunk people outside of the Champaign-Urbana bars. There’s a decent chance that if you go to any shopping center in the suburbs, The Black Sheep Guy will find you, he’ll interview you, and you’ll feel like you’re at UIUC.
4.) Get Drunk at a Barn:
Just because the schoolyear is over doesn’t mean that you can’t still feel like you’re at a barndance. You just need to find your local cornfield that becomes a maze and a pumpkin patch during the fall and bring your red Solo cup. Flannel isn’t required.
3.) Hang Out with Daddy:
All of the daddies are still on campus, but you still need your fill during the summer. Luckily, in the suburbs, you can go to Papa John’s, eat some scrumptious garlic breadsticks and hang out with daddy all in one.
2.) Watch Subpar (Little League) Sports:
Watching sports at the local little league baseball field is no different than taking in a football game at Memorial Stadium due to the subpar nature of each. At least the little league game is free.
1.) Get Kicked Out of a House:
While you can replicate the college experience by doing a lot of things in the suburbs, nothing quite does it like getting kicked out of your house by your mother when you can’t answer the question, “Who do you know here?” because you’re not the same person you were when you left for Chambana in August. Your mom is actually really frat.
Try not to miss UIUC too much this summer while you’re in the suburbs this summer. But if you’re looking for the real thing, remember that Chambana is only two hours away.