Which is Better the ARC or CRCE?
When you decide to take your yearly expedition to the gym, your choice in where you go will ultimately brand you for the rest of your college career. Ok, not really, but it’s like deciding between Coke and Pepsi, where one is clearly better and the other side is lying through their teeth.
The ARC is like the lunch table where the cool kids sit and gossip every day about all the nerds. CRCE is just the table next to them that trades Yu-Gi-Oh cards and brings a lunch box with a note from their mommies. When you’re going to the ARC, you’ll automatically notice you’re surrounded by swole individuals who act like they own the place. Even if you can barely lift a bar without weights, you’re one of them now.
And that’d be great if this was high school, but it’s not. We’re in college now, baby, and it’s the weird kids’ time to shine. Sure, CRCE might not have the glitz and glamour of the ARC, but it’s got a hell of a lot more character. And the ARC is so far out of the way for everyone that doesn’t live in the Six Pack, so it’s not even practical for most students.
Out of the way for anyone who doesn’t know how to use a bus, maybe. Learn how to use the 22 and you’ll be there before you can talk yourself out of going to the gym. And even if you do have to walk a little farther, I think your lazy ass could use the exercise.
The point remains that CRCE is the superior gym by its aquatic amenities alone. I mean, how can you compete with a freaking water slide? If you’re trying to dunk on some fools and stay cool at the same time, they’ve got a basketball hoop poolside. And their Jacuzzi can fit a dozen people, maybe even a few more if you’re feeling frisky…
You know what, I’ll give you the water slide because that’s all they have. I don’t want to talk about how many germs are in that damn Jacuzzi from the aquatic orgies you’re alluding to. I’m sure it has room for a few crabs, too. If you really want to talk about aquatic amenities, let’s have a chat when the outside pool opens in April. That’s a high-quality tanning zone for hotties.
Yeah, have fun enjoying your outdoor pool three months out of the school year. Meanwhile we’ll be living it up at CRCE, not allowing the unpredictable weather of Champaign to deter our fun. Plus, what difference does it make if there are hotties at the gym? We’ve got several bars on campus and a very active crowd on Tinder. Isn’t it nice to have a space, a safe space if you will, where we don’t have to constantly be sexualized?
Chill with the PC check. Everyone is sexualizing everyone whether we like it or not. You might as well do it in a safe space where everyone is getting fit and flirty with protein shakes and water instead of tequila and beer. You can stick with your lack of machinery and I’ll be at the ARC contemplating which of the multiple stair steppers I’m going to use today.
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