Daddy of the Week: Sean Tobin

author-pic at University of Illinois  

Name: Sean Tobin

Twitter Handle: @seantobin

Year: Sophomore

Major: Crop sciences

Relationship Status: Sad

Fraternity: Kappa Delta Rho

Boxers or Briefs?: Boxers, it’s the American way.

Tell us a dad joke:

My kids asked what school I went to be a loan shark; I told them I went to I.O.U.

Would you prefer sex on the beach or sex on your newly-furnished patio?:

Patio, I put a lot of work into it.

If your dick was a power tool, which power tool would it be?:

A hammer. Blunt, simple, and I can’t use it if I’m drunk.

What’s wrong with our generation?:

The Internet. I can’t go to the bar without seeing people looking up bad memes on Facebook instead of talking with each other. Do you remember when memes were wholesome and simple? Don’t let phones be a dependency.

 

If we raided your room right now, how many dildos would we find?:

None, unless you’re creative, then maybe 4.

 

Who’s your favorite celebrity MILF?:

Tilda Swinton. No contest.

How many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop?:

I’m not sure, candy is for liberals and children.

 

What’s the sexiest way to do your taxes?:

As soon as possible. NOTHING is sexier than being on time.

 

Why should people read The Black Sheep?:

If you find yourself getting into a monotonous routine, sometimes it’s just need to take a step back, relax and laugh a little. What better way to do that than to read humorous thoughts from your fellow students?