You’re right in the middle of your shitty summer internship, but Red Lion’s calling your name. It’s Greek Reunion time. Only problem is, in order to get the full experience of this drunken debauchery, you’re going to have to find a way out of work on Friday to make it to Happy Hour. So is ditching your internship for Greek Reunion worth it? This week, two of our writers argue over just that.
Jungle Fever: This unpaid internship is just too important to waste. Even though it’s Friday and everyone you know started drinking at 3 p.m., your attendance at the afternoon meeting is vital. Since you’re still not entirely sure what the company does, it would be irresponsible to leave early. It’s only acceptable to be irresponsible in Champaign.
Diego Manischewitz: It’s fair that you aren’t entirely sure what the company does. However, the company isn’t sure what you do, either. They probably don’t even know your name, only that you bring them coffee all day. The only meeting you should be attending is with your Greek life family to coordinate your child-size basketball jerseys from the 90s.
Jungle Fever: Your #fam will still be there when you get to the bar on Saturday. Your friends are delinquents and you deserve to take a night off from being the mom of the group. Wait until Saturday when they’re all hungover and gagging at the mention of Blue Guys so you can really bool.
Diego Manischewitz: I’m sorry, but I’m just gonna say it: everything I do is for my fraternity. If you don’t come Friday for Greek Reunion, you’re going to be called a pussy, and there’s nothing worse than being called a pussy (unless you’re a dirty geed). If someone calls you a pussy at work, that’s harassment. Most people in Greek life are interning for “daddy’s business” anyway, and they get the day off. You should too.
Jungle Fever: Ok but that’s assuming your father still talks to you, instead of cutting off communication after you disappointed him at age 12 by not being able to ride a bike. He only got you the job so you would stop sitting around in your dirty underwear all day watching weird porn. His assistant’s assistant will be watching you like a hawk to make sure you’re filing papers and doing other bitch work correctly. No chance you’ll get that new Lexus if you skip out early.
Diego Manischewitz: As a Greek life member, your parents will inevitably pay for you to live in high-rise apartment in Lincoln Park right after graduation, so you don’t have to do much for that new Lexus, anyway. Speaking of graduation, I know there’s Greek Reunion afterwards, but you can’t tell me you don’t miss Red Lion right now.
Jungle Fever: THE Red Lion will always be there until it inevitably gets shut down by the Champaign Health Department. We have at least two more crabs outbreaks until that happens, though. If you really have your heart set on drinking Friday night, you can always hit up your high school friends and pull straws to see whose basement you should drink in. It’s fun, it’s safe, and it’s less disappointing to your dad.
Diego Manischewitz: Basement parties with your high school friends are just as lame as they were in high school. We’re only young and frat for so long, and Greek life members need to take advantage of their college peak. So let’s enjoy Greek Reunion now before we inevitably grow dad bods and get divorced.