Thots who frequent Red Lion are sure to see some frat guys with their shirts off exposing their ARC basement-chiseled pecs and abs. Some believe the increased amount of shirtless men are due to the heat at Red Lion, but the real reason why these tough guys’ shirts are off in the first place has surprised some bar goers.
“Fights break out all the time at Lion,” said Delta Alpha brother Doug Curtis. “Typically whenever a fight is about to begin, I usually just rip off my shirt and scream. I can’t explain the behavior, but I do it impulsively.”
After Curtis kept losing his shirt every time a fight broke out, he decided to change his wardrobe.
“I decided to go bro tank-less when I go to Lion just in case there’s some fight that I will, like, probably start by shoving the bouncer,” said Curtis. “I can confidently say that the door guy’ll probably deserves it, though. I’m also saving a ton of time preparing for the shoving match by not wasting time sensually ripping off my shirt for my opponent to enjoy.”
Red Lion management isn’t surprised by the shirtless frat guy trend occurring at the bar, though.
“Surprised by a bunch of ape-like shirtless guys ready to fight whenever a drink gets accidentally spilled on them? Please,” said Red Lion manager Sam Martin. “This is the place with a bathroom called the ‘Cocktagon.’ And with more and more ISU students coming every week, we have other things we need to concentrate on.”