On move-in day at UIUC, Bryan Aidelson’s mother gave him a final squeeze goodbye, leaving him crying because his mom left by his socially-awkward self in the cold, unforgiving Pennsylvania Avenue Residence Halls.
Yet, the freshman claims otherwise.
“I’m not crying, okay?” Aidelson said. “Stop asking me!”
Other sources bring doubt to the veracity of Aidelson’s account.
“He was definitely crying,” said Aidelson’s hot older sister, Amanda. “What a wimp. I didn’t cry at all when Glen and Linda dropped me off at ISU for the first time.”
The idea that Aidelson might’ve been crying grew harder to dispute after Bryan’s parents peeled out of the residence hall parking lot in a gray minivan.
“He was, like, sprinting after the car screaming, ‘Wait!’’” said fellow freshman, Jenna Keres. “But I mean he might’ve just forgotten something. I did that too when I thought I left my JUUL in the backseat of my mom’s pickup.”
Several hours after his parent’s departure, Aidelson stuck with the same introduction—“I’m not crying; I just ate a super potent edible”—to every kid he met, managing to win him a few weird friends that he’ll outgrow by the end of sophomore year.
“That kid’s wild,” commented Aidelson’s new roommate, Tyler Adams. “I thought I’d heard his muffled sobbing while I was trying to play Fortnite, but when he told me he was tweaking, I guess I couldn’t really question him.”
Due to the differing reports from students, we may never be sure if Aidelson truly was crying because his mom left.
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