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Illini Spring Breaker Planning to go to Russia Starting to Seriously Regret Decision

This week, Alvin Grobsky, a sophomore at UIUC, recently planned his spring break trip to Moscow, Russia, which has turned out not as he expected. Grobsky thought this would be a popular tourist destination because of the rich culture and booming economy. However, recent political tensions have made him rethink his foolproof plan to visit.

 

“When I heard the drinking age in Russia was virtually nonexistent, I knew that’s where I had to make my spring break plans,” said Grobsky. “Ever since PCB shut down, there’s been no solid consensus on where to get plastered and do illicit drugs.”

 

Many Americans have had increased distrust with the former communist country since the Trump Administration’s recent connections show that the Cold War might not be as over as everyone thought.

 

“I’m sure this problem will work itself out before the end of March,” Grobsky said. “I can’t see it going on too much longer for the sake of tourism between the countries.”

 

Grobsky, who planned to tour Korea last year amidst ongoing political tensions, sees little issue in his decision besides his classmates in PS 101 urging him to rethink his travel choices.

 

“Yeah, my TA said I could just get drunk in Canada, but I need some adventure after working hard to get my communications degree this semester,” sighed Grobsky. “Plus, I hear they drink vodka like water. I think since I go out every single weekend at school, I can definitely handle myself there.”

 

Despite having little to no knowledge of international politics, Grobsky is committed to having a wild time in Russia with his new internet girlfriend, Svetlana, who keeps emailing him saying how badly she wants to meet him.

 

WATCH: We hit the streets of Chicago’s St. Patty’s Day Parade to see how woke people were.

 

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