UIUC is full of bad decisions, wasted money, and nights that need to be forgotten. Whether it is living in the 6 Pack for 2 years or paying $5 cover at Monday Night Lion, all Illini are prone to making poor choices. That’s where The Black Sheep comes in, to let you know if your bad decisions with your wallet were worth it.
What Did You Do?:
You lived in the 6 Pack for 2 years instead of moving out into a house or an apartment after one dreadful year. Each year cost $11,644 because you got lucky with an air-conditioned dorm, lived with only one terrible roommate in a double, and had a meal plan because you’re thicc.
How Much Did It Cost?:
Living 2 years in the 6 Pack burnt quite the whole in your pocket, a total of $23,288. Spending half of your college life in the 6 Pack costs so much more than just the ticket price, though. You gained at least 10 pounds by eating in the Ike every day for 2 years, and you’re lucky you didn’t gain upwards of 30 pounds. It also cost countless nights of sleep when you slept on a couch in the Union because your roommate sexiled you. Lastly, don’t forget about the years taken off of your life by having to use a community bathroom for all of you hygiene needs; you have a perpetual case of athlete’s foot, even thought the most exercise you do is walking home from Lion at 2 in the morning.
What Else Could You Have Spent This On?:
If you were willing to drop $11,644 to live and eat in the 6 Pack for a second year, you could have also been just as boujee and lived in HERE on Green Street for sophomore year. The 12-month lease would cost $9,348, leaving nearly $2,300 for food. If you’re okay with eating ramen and Easy Mac for an entire school year, you could have spent this year living at HERE and confusing all of your friends when they ask you where you live.
Or, the cost of your second year in the dorms could have bought an Orange Krush season ticket for basketball games for you and 92 of your closest friends, at $125 per ticket. Instead of being disappointed in your dorm when that cute girl you met at barn dance didn’t want to go back to Taft-Van Doren and your extra-long twin-sized bed, you could’ve gotten disappointed watching a sub-.500 Big Ten basketball team. The disappointment is the same, but this one is experienced by 93 people.
Lastly, instead of living 9 miserable months in your sophomore year in a dorm, you could have wisely spent the money on 15,576 16 oz. cans of Natty Light at 75 cents a pop at one of the four Wal-Marts in Chambana. You can get so trashed off of shitty beer that you wouldn’t even remember you considered living in the dorms for a second year.
Was It Worth It?:
What would you rather spend $12,000 on?
— The Black Sheep UIUC (@BlackSheep_UIUC) April 18, 2017