The new Cracked restaurant on Green St. opened yesterday, inhabiting the space where campus favorite Antonio’s pizza by the slice establishment once stood. Though many students mourn the loss of the beloved pizza hotspot, Antonio’s may not be as long gone as they think.
“Look, I don’t want to go into too much detail,” described Tom McNewton, nighttime shift manager of the new Cracked location. “But we’ve been having some issues with… unexplainable occurrences. Some of my staff have reported hearing the slurred whispers of drunk girls trying to order Mac n’ Cheese Pizza, while no customers were even inside.”
Other employees, who wish to remain anonymous, have reported smelling the delectably eerie scent of Antonio’s BBQ Chicken Pizza wafting through the store even though there’s nothing like that on the Cracked menu.
“It’s probably nothing,” McNewton attempted to clarify. “But on a totally unrelated note, do you happen to have the number for some sort of local Champaign Ghostbusters or something?”
The Ghost of Antonio’s Past that’s actually been haunting the restaurant had some choice words for McNewton, however.
“Oh, you talked to McNewton?” the Ghost of Antonio’s Past laughed while rubbing his paranormal booty on a frying pan. “I hate that guy. Like, he thinks he can just parade on in here, on our sacred pizza making grounds, and set up camp? I think the hell not.”
The owners of Cracked vehemently denies any paranormal activity at their new location. The new store will be open daily for breakfast sandwiches and tater tots.
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