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Oh The Places You’ll Bro!

 

From the writers of Do You Like Green Kegs and KAM’s? comes the next book in The Black Sheep Children’s Book Series: Oh The Places You’ll Bro! A perfect graduation gift for any frat bro that’ll soon be graduating or perhaps taking a victory lap next year. Here’s a little preview of the book:

 

Asuhh Dude!

Today is your day.

You’re off to the bars!

So bro away!

 

You have a bucket hat on your head.

You have Sperry’s for your shoes.

You can haze yourself

Or any pledge you choose.

 

You’ll look down Fraternity Row,

With thought and care,

You’ll look at bottom houses and say,

“Glad I didn’t rush there.”

 

You’ll stroll down Green Street, with no ounce of fear.

To some passersby’s you will scream, “Who do you know here?”

With your head full of buckets, and your shoes full of Sperry’s,

With attire like that, you won’t be popping any Ikenberry cherries.

 

Out in Chambana bad things can happen.

And frequently they do

To people as frat

Yet foolish as you.

 

And then things start to happen,

Don’t worry. Don’t stew.

Just stay chill bruh,

Your nationals will take care of you.

 

OH!

THE PLACES YOU’LL BRO!

 

You’re on your way up!

You’ll be seeing great sights!

Don’t back down from a challenge

And lose a Cly’s bar fight.

 

You won’t lag behind, because you’ll have the speed,

You joined a frat for “networking opportunities,”

You have all the paid friends you need.

 

Oh, the places you’ll bro!

There are required volunteer hours to be done!

There are balls to be scratched!

There are philanthropies to be won!

And the magical thing you can do as a bro,

Will make you the frattiest bro you’ll ever know.

Frat! You’ll be as frat you can be,

With sorority row watching you in a pastel pocket tee.

 

You’ll get fucked up, of course,

As you already know.

You’ll get mixed up

With many strange geeds in cargo pants as you go.

So, be sure when you bro,

Step with care and a great bucket hat

And remember that being a bro

Is a part of being frat.

 

And will you succeed?

Yes! You will indeed!

 

BRO, YOU’LL PULL MAD PUSSY!

 

So…

Be your name Bro or Bruh or Brah

Or Broski Brotato Chip Shaw,

You’re off to the bars!

Today is your day!

Your keg is waiting.

So bro away!

 

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