UIUC is full of bad decisions, wasted money, and nights that need to be forgotten. Whether it’s living in the 6 Pack for 2 years or paying $5 cover at Monday Night Lion, all Illini are prone to making poor choices. That’s where The Black Sheep comes in, to let you know if your bad decisions with your wallet were worth it.
What Did You Do?:
You go to The Red Lion every week for Monday Night Lion. It’s typically $5 cover, and the night almost always ends with a sad hookup with that girl you sat next to in PSYC 100.
How Much Did It Cost?:
There are 32 weeks in the academic year, meaning there are 32 weeks for you to go to Lion. If we’re being conservative and you stayed in 1 Monday per month because you need to find some time to watch Shameless on Netflix, you spend $5 at Lion on 24 Mondays. That’s $120, and over 4 years it’s $480, just on paying cover to enter a room that plays “Closer” by The Chainsmokers on repeat and gives you colorful watered-down vodka.
Plus, you’re wasting a prime go-to hookup on Monday nights.
What Else Could You Have Spent This On?:
Your tuition for the 2016-17 school year at UIUC is $31,046. Never going to Monday Night Lion – and saving $480 over 4 years – could pay for a whopping 1.5% of one year’s tuition! That $480 towards tuition covers about six lectures – six times that you can sit in a chair with a broken desk from the 1980s in the Armory’s lecture hall and only pay attention when your professor asks an iClicker question.
The $480 could have also gotten you 53 Fat MILFs. No, not the type that you saw dancing on the tables at Lion when you paid $5 for cover during Moms Weekend, but the meaty goodness that they serve at Fat Sandwich. It would’ve been so much more rewarding to eat a day’s worth of calories when you were drunk at 2 a.m. 53 separate times than go to Lion once a week.
Lastly, instead of going to Lion over 100 times in college, the money could have been put towards you becoming an intellectual, going to 48 events at the Krannert Center at $10 a pop. While you chose to listen to Justin Bieber’s newest single overplayed by a wannabe DJ at Lion, what music majors would call “actual music” was playing at Krannert.
Was It Worth It?:
What’s most worth $480?
— The Black Sheep UIUC (@BlackSheep_UIUC) April 11, 2017
It’s up to you.