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Smirnoff Sour Apple Review

Are you sick of Svedka, Burnett’s and Taaka? Then you might want to try Smirnoff Sour Apple, which is just as bad except, it’s even more money! Don’t let the sticker price fool you, just because you’re spending ten dollars more than usual doesn’t mean you won’t feel any less hungover the next day. Here’s our Smirnoff Sour Apple review:

Grade: C+

Smells Like:
The inside of a nitrous oxide gas mask right before you’re about to get a tooth pulled at the dentist.

Tastes Like:
All the sour candies you ate as a kid, but in liquid form.

Typical Drinkers:
– Women who can only take flavored shots.

– Men who are too masculine to admit they like fruity drinks.

– Your drunk aunt on Thanksgiving, Christmas and Easter.

– Moms who want to trick their kids into thinking they’re actually drinking juice in the middle of the day.

– Literally any poor soul under 21.

User Comments:
– “Do you have, like, Sprite so I can chase this?”

– “Nah man, I don’t drink girly shit.”

– “No you can’t have any sweetie, this is grown-up juice.”

– “Can you buy me some Smirnoff, I’ll give you extra money?”

Best Described as a Drink Superior To:
The first time you tried an Extreme Sour Patch Kid.

Do I NEED to Use a Chaser with This?:
Let’s just say it probably feels similar to drinking straight bleach.

Why Did Smirnoff Decide to Make a Sour Vodka?:
We think they realized their buyers weren’t suffering enough so they made their vodka just a little bit more painful to choke down.

We Mixed It With:
A lot of bad decisions and Pedialyte.

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