Illinites are known as a wholesome alternative to Chambana’s wild bar scene. The Illini Union Board plans events such as bowling, movie showings and free food for the first 50 students to come with an iCard. However, their attendance has yet to ever reach 50 students, and they may begin to see turnout drop even further at their sober soirees given a recent scandal.
“Illinites planned these weekend film showings where they project movies on the Quad,” explained junior Leeroy Atkins, founder of the campus Bee Movie Fan Club (pending SRO approval). “But it’s total BS. You’re telling me they’re going to get movies no one’s ever heard of, like La La Land and Moonlight, but totally sleep on the timeless classics?”
For Atkins, “timeless classics” include Shrek 2 (2004) and The Bee Movie (2007), an animated film starring the voice of Jerry Seinfeld, which depicts the heroic story of Barry B. Benson, a bee that decides to venture out of his hive and sue humankind for stealing honey.
“You don’t get it,” Atkins passionately continued. “Barry B. Benson is all of us. He’s just a confused, college kid that doesn’t want to commit to any sort of career path. But the dude’s got big dreams. He sues the entire human race. It says a lot about, like, the dangers of capitalism or climate change and that sort of thing… I think.”
Other students don’t seem to be as phased by the Union’s choices in movie screenings.
“What’s Illinites?” says sophomore Lauren Howard with a scowl. “I’ve literally never, ever heard of that. It sounds super geedy. Why would you want to spend your Friday night anywhere else besides KAM’s happy hour?”
Even so, Atkins’ petition to bring The Bee Movie to the Illini Union’s Illinites currently has seven signatures. He’s hoping to make it to at least 11 signatures by the end of the month, since 11 is the record amount of students to ever show up to an Illinite event.