Some students don’t believe it exists (*cough* nerds *cough*), but the majority of the student body knows and treasures the one reason to look forward to the start of every semester: Syllabus Week. Here at The Black Sheep we help you, the student, in your drinking endeavors by organizing every bar special all week into one neat little chart, but today we will go above and beyond by giving you the ultimate way to celebrate with a classic drinking game. Don’t forget, the “real work” starts September 1.
What You’ll Need: A class schedule with little-to-no first week assignments—looking at you, psychology majors—and enough booze to last the week.
(Note: Your tolerance is probably at infant-level if you didn’t imbibe during the summer, otherwise load up on the handles and 30-packs).
Number of Players: All of your friends, plus all of your new friends that you’ll never talk to again after this week. Let’s just say an infinite number of players.
Level of Intoxication: “Class? What class?”
How to Play: The game starts at the end of your classes each day (this isn’t Unofficial, don’t drink during class, you miscreant). Begin the game by choosing a bar at random (or follow the drink specials) and pick a different campus town bar each day of the week.
If you’re a:
Freshman: Congrats on being at least 19 to enter the bar! Now go home and memorize your syllabuses (syllabi?), because college is hard and weekday drinking is for those who have already given up on life (e.g. us at The Black Sheep). Post-August birthday kiddies can just completely sit this one out and tinker around in your dorms – you’re especially not ready for Champaign yet.
Sophomore: Loudly announce to the entire bar that you’re not a freshman anymore. Make jokes about the freshmen as often as possible. Complain about how difficult your classes are and then sit and mope, while still being happy that you’re no longer a freshman.
Junior: Laugh at the sophomores and internally dread how difficult your classes are going to be. Mull over the syllabuses you received today and try to forget that you’re going to have to drop a grand on textbooks.
Senior: Forget that there is such thing as an underclassman and cheers to your buddies for making it this far. You’ve already seen the worst of your curriculum last year, now it’s smooth sailing until you realize that you’re going to have to move back in with your parents when you don’t get a job offer.
-When someone attempts to pluralize the word “syllabus.” Syllabuses? Syllabese? Syllaby? Syllabi? SyllaLGBT?
-If you already lost your syllabus (one drink per syllabus lost).
-For each time your heard the “Academic Dishonesty Policy” read aloud in class.
-For each class that let out early, drink three times if it was before the half-hour mark.
-For each syllabus that looks like it hasn’t been changed since the 80s. Finish your drink if there was outdated information or leftover racism (for example, “The Effects of the Cold War on Colored People”).
-If a friend from another school asks “What’s Syllabus Week?” and then after you tell him says, “Oh… we don’t have a name for that.”
-All players must sit facing one direction, lecture hall/classroom-style.
-Every 50 minutes, players will be given 10 minutes to move to a different table.
-Players must raise their hand before talking. Any player who fails to do so will be given the death glare by all other players for 10 seconds. And a shot.
The Game Ends: Monday, September 1 (but restarts at the beginning of the spring semester, woo hoo!)