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6 Things Freshmen Will Never Know About UIUC

College campuses are constantly evolving, leaving some great things to bite the dust. While many aspects of UIUC have remained consistent for years, each graduating class inevitably shares a different collective experience. This year’s freshmen class will sadly never experience these 6 things about the University of Illinois’ recent history:

 

6.) The Illini Inn:


This tiny dive bar differed from most bars on campus. You didn’t come here to go wild or throw up on your friend Janet, but to sit in mostly silence over some boring (intellectually stimulating?) conversation with some pals. This place felt more like a basement than a bar; apparently some people were into that.

 

5.) Murphy’s Neon Sign:


Bet you didn’t even notice this one. And you probably didn’t bat an eyelash if you did, unless you’re a GDI. If the latter is the case, you worshiped that neon sign like some religious iconography outside a cathedral. That bright green light above you cinematically illuminated you and your American Spirit as you looked down with deep emotions at your thrifted overalls and combat boots. After you were finished with your cig break, passively basking in the neon light, it was back to pounding shitty beer inside. What fun. Now you can’t help but scoff at the new one-dimensional non-illuminated sign. That’s some lowbrow art.

 

4.) Joe’s Without The Upper Deck:

 


The bros were sad to see you go, but luckily the floors are just as sticky literally everywhere else in and around the building. Still, there was something charming about that cramped little room, faint scent of puke and all. While there are still areas in the Champaign bar scene with similar vibes, where else does one go to escape that one Tinder hookup you bumped into downstairs?

 

3.) Illini Union Construction:


Yeah, we’ve heard it all before: UIUC is an acronym for University of Illinois, Under Construction (UIUC). There’s really no escape, but at least Project 1 of the Multimodal Corridor Enhancement (huh?) has recently been completed, making the trek around the Illini Union easier to navigate for students. Thank god! Back in our day, we had to go around the Union to get to class. No luxurious time-saving walk through the Union… To nobody’s surprise, however, there are still other MCORE projects around Green Street currently and more on the way. Bask in the joy.

 

2.) Antonio’s:


Let’s be honest, there was nothing too great about this place. And yet, we were crushed upon hearing of its demise. Where else does one go to grab a quick greasy slice late at night after 1 or 7 too many drinks? No feeling quite like stumbling inside, blurry vision and all, the smell of cheese hitting your senses accompanied by loud unnecessary drunk screaming. Eating their pizza sober would truly have you thinking, “Why am I eating this?”

 

1.) Mashawi Grill:


Picture this: You’re walking down Green Street with only a few measly dollars to your name, excitedly approaching Mashawi Grill with a smile on your face. Suddenly you’re hit with the sheer horror of a brightly-colored closing notice plastered smack-dab in the middle of the entrance door. Mashawi’s closing came as a surprise to us all, sending shockwaves and some pretty good memes around campus last spring. Mashawi was there for us many a time, whether it came to offering a dirt-cheap hangover cure or a tasty lunch break you could actually afford despite spending your last paycheck (or mom’s allowance) on booze. Mashawi was kind of like the side piece you took for granted. Only after she dips do you realize how much you really needed her. You just want her back, dude.

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